IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
People have divergent views about whether we should keep
children
 away from making
mistakes
 or not. Personally, I think that it is acceptable to make
mistakes
 for
children
,
while
 I
also
 believe that adults have to educate
children
 to
sledom
Correct your spelling
seldom
 do wrong things. In
this
 essay, I will
explian
Correct your spelling
explain
 why we might make
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both sides. On the one hand, I
convinced
Add a missing verb
am convinced
show examples
 that
children
 could learn much from a
leeson
Correct your spelling
lesson
 so that making
mistakes
 should not be avoided. There are various reasons why
teenagers
 could learn much from
mistakes
. First of all,
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding out the reasons why they are wrong might let them
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not make
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
mistakes
.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 they would try other measures to
slove
Correct your spelling
solve
show examples
this
 problem, which develops their
problem-sloving
Correct your spelling
problem-solving
 abilities.
Secondly
, when they make
mistakes
, they
absloutely
Correct your spelling
absolutely
 have
deeply
Change the adverb
deep
show examples
 impressions about it. For
eample
Correct your spelling
example
, a teacher
ask
Change the verb form
asks
show examples
 a student a
queation
Correct your spelling
question
 in a class, but the student
answer
Change the verb form
answers
show examples
 wrong.
Then
, the student would understand that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
 they are unfamiliar with and
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 should learn more.
On the other hand
,
although
teenagers
 could be educated by their
mistakes
, it
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to me that humans might control the degree
of
Change preposition
to of
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 make
mistakes
. To put it shortly, it is not
everythig
Correct your spelling
everything
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 could make
mistakes
. Take illegal activities
for example
, as long as they commit a crime,
this
 relatively
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a huge impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them.
Thus
,
teenagers
 might
were
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 taught that some
mistakes
 are unacceptable
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 stealing, fighting, and
rubbe
Correct your spelling
robbery
. In conclusion, indeed there are some negative effects when it comes to
children
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 wrong things, but I certainly believe that
mistakes
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a great teacher for
teenagers
 to learn and
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 as long as
adult
Add an article
an adult
show examples
 would teach their
children
 to be aware of their
mistakes
.
Submitted by jackson05234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
What to do next:
Look at other essays: