Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Public
parks
are an essential part of society ,for
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
live in the surroundings of that area. It will be a disaster if
this
land converts to a place to build
Correct article usage
a
show examples
housing complex or elaborate financial income. I am of the view that
this
opinion is highly unacceptable for two major reasons. The primary reason is,
these
Correct word choice
that these
show examples
places are very sensitive areas of a community , where they gather for various purposes like physical activities , social interaction and leisure activities. To explain , the majority of the population uses public
parks
for playing games, sitting with their loved ones and organising cultural activities, which is unavoidable and never in human life.
For example
, the slides and swings in the
parks
attract children
as well as
grownups to spend their leisure time.
overall
these places are considered a vital part of each and everyone's precious place and converting it won't be justifiable.
Furthermore
, public
parks
contain a lot of greenery and various biodiversity, so it's a place of eye-catching and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
air pollution. In
another word
Fix the agreement mistake
other words
show examples
, the
parks
contain a variety of plants and trees, which produce different types of flowers and fruits,
hence
this
creates an ecosystem for a lot of species. Even though it is an attraction for people , these plants control air pollution in a significant manner.So using
this
space to build houses or other projects will ruin the entire atmosphere .
To sum up
, altering public
parks
will wash out the spaces which are used for various purposes and diminish the beauty and biodiversity of the area where air pollution is controlled and the ecosystem is maintained. So
this
statement is not acceptable .
Submitted by geokavalackal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt, but the arguments lack development and clarity. There is a need for a more balanced and structured approach.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks coherence and cohesive development of ideas. A more organized and connected structure is required.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: