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Writing Samples
Band 6

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development
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The majority of
women
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 are conditioned to look fascinated. They opt for cosmetic procedures in order to enhance their looking.
Consequently
Linking Words
, cosmetic
surgery
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 has been booming in the past years. There are plenty of reasons why
women
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 desire to do
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cosmetic treatment. First of all, cosmetic procedure stems from the low esteem of people and non-acceptance of themselves. There is too much pressure to be stunning and slim, and it causes emotional distress and an immense amount of self-loathing in
women
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 all over the world. We are bombarded with perfect images of
women
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 on a daily basis by advertisements and it influences
women
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 to have a resemblance with the appearance of celebrities. They become unconsciously dependent on beauty standards that have been created by models. All these factors cause the necessity of cosmetic surgeries to look brilliant. To my view, every coin has two sides, and the same goes for plastic
surgery
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. Cosmetic
surgery
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, like any type of
Use synonyms
surgery
Add the comma(s)
,surgery
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 is not without risks. It involves medical complications that are able to arise afterwards. Another drawback of
surgery
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 is that outcome will not match the desired result On other hand, despite these disadvantages, plastic procedure assists many people
to
Change preposition
in
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feeling
Change the verb form
feel
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 deliriously happy and fill the void in the soul.
For example
Linking Words
, cosmetic
surgery
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 is a vital part of their lives in Korea. They consider that improving appearance is able to gain promotion even at work. Cosmetic
surgery
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 will be developed
due to
Linking Words
 the advanced technology that cut down the risks of diseases occurring after procedures. In summary, demand for cosmetic
surgery
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 has been boosted because of an increased interest in
surgery
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, as technological advancements make procedures more appealing
Submitted by idantiris19 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Idealized beauty standards
  • Cosmetic surgery
  • Advancements in medical technology
  • Socially acceptable
  • Self-improvement
  • Psychological well-being
  • Competitive workforce
  • Youthful appearance
  • Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
  • Physical appearance
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