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Band 4.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

#countries #people #products #world
The difference between
countries
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 disappearing
due to
people
 buying the same
goods
 anywhere in the world.
Although
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 conveniently
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a low price, there is a
greatly
Replace the word
greater
show examples
 negative influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local culture, even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 will be damaged.
Therefore
, I believe that
this
 situation should be prevented
happening
Change preposition
from happening
show examples
 in all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
. One obvious advantage to appearing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar
products
 all over the world is that it offers
people
 easily getting lower price
goods
 from other
countries
. When we want to own something abroad, we usually pay so much money,
such
 as travelling expenses, duties and so forth, and waste a lot of time to get it.
As a result
,
Add an article
a
the
show examples
large amount of
cost
 and time will
be save
Change the verb form
be saved
show examples
 if
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 sold in my country.
However
, the same
products
 existing in every nation will lead to a problem that the
espectial
Correct your spelling
special
especial
 culture will be
destoryed
Correct your spelling
destroyed
. With the growth of living
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
, more and more
people
 choose the cheaper
goods
 that
often
Add a missing verb
are often
show examples
 made by a huge amount of production.
Whereas
 particular and traditional things are so hard production that will pay huge prices. To be specific,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar and boring
products
 will be
instead
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national
products
 in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 where domestic DNA will
difficultly
Change the word
difficult
show examples
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
show examples
. In conclusion, in the short term,
people
 really gain that the
cost
 of
goods
 is reduced. in the long term, the civilization belonging
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 nation will slowly disappear.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with the domestic characteristic dying out, the small
cost
reducing
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
 in the short period is totally unimportant.
Submitted by cleoovo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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