Women will play an increasingly important role at workplace in future. But this may disturb their family lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is a fact that female participation in all jobs

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing and will continue in

coming

Correct article usage

the coming

show examples

days. Even though currently they are facing some troubles with their family lives , I believe that it can be cleared out in future because of two major reasons. Primarily,

women

Correct article usage

the women

show examples

work

Use synonyms

force got

Verb problem

workforce has gained

show examples

a large acceptance in

modern

Add an article

the modern

show examples

world,

hence

Linking Words

both governments and private firms give enormous support to females to carry out both their family lives and

profession

Fix the agreement mistake

professions

show examples

together. To explain, by providing flexible

work

Use synonyms

hours, allowances and leave patterns for them to balance their time for the family and

job

Use synonyms

Due to

Linking Words

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

, more ladies will

Add a missing verb

be encouged

show examples

encouged

Correct your spelling

encouraged

to find a

job

Use synonyms

and earn their own.

For example

Linking Words

, maternity and

child care

Correct your spelling

childcare

show examples

leaves in

NHS

Correct article usage

the NHS

show examples

prompting

Wrong verb form

prompt

show examples

girls to search for a

job

Use synonyms

in health care sector.

As a result

Linking Words

, most of the nurses in that particular organisation are females.

Overall

Linking Words

the huge support from employers is the reason to attract female workers without any concern about their family life.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, the encouragement from educated parents and partners

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

another reason for increasing women

Use synonyms

work force

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

they will be

more free

Replace the words

freer

show examples

to concentrate on their studies and attend competitive exams to achieve their

carrier

Correct your spelling

careers

show examples

This

Linking Words

phenomena

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society will help to eradicate the belief that , females are supposed to stay

Change preposition

show examples

home rather than go for

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

Linking Words

Furthermore

Add a comma

Furthermore,

show examples

various facilities like nursery and

child care

Correct your spelling

childcare

show examples

settings will help them to reduce the stress about the children. So the environment

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

create

Wrong verb form

created

show examples

by families and

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

are allowing girls to

work

Use synonyms

and

lead

Verb problem

play

show examples

important

Correct article usage

an important

show examples

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

in their institutions.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the benefits and support from employers and families

Change the verb form

are

show examples

encouraging women to go for

Use synonyms

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

without concern about their family lives. So I disagree with the statement.

geokavalackalTue Mar 21 2023

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coherence-and-cohesion

Make sure to use consistent terminology when referring to similar concepts. For example, you used ‘women work force’ and later ‘female workers’; try to stick to one term for clarity.

task-achievement

Ensure that your examples directly support your main points. Some examples could use more direct relation to your argument to strengthen your position.

coherence-and-cohesion

Consider adding a few transitional phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs, which will enhance coherence in your writing.

task-achievement

You provide clear reasons and supportive examples for your viewpoint, which enhances the overall strength of your argument.

coherence-and-cohesion

The introduction outlines your position effectively, giving the essay a clear direction from the start.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Women will play an increasingly important role at workplace in future. But this may disturb their family lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree

The majority of news is being reported bad news such as wars, famines, accidents, and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think news should be balanced with good news and bad news?

As most spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being. What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

It is the responsibility of schools to teach children good behavior in addition to provide formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes here. What is your opinion about this?