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Band 6

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents
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In recent years, because of the hustle and bustle in life,
children
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 have to face various troubles related to healthcare
as well as
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 harmful
habits
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.
Hence
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, the majority of people suggest that
parents
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 and
schools
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 need to take responsibility to settle
this
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 issue. I totally agree with
this
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 assertion and I will discuss it with a few examples as follows. With regard to school,
although
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 learning is vital, recreational activities are equally necessary since it helps
children
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 develop holistically, both physically and mentally.
Schools
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 should have a lot of outdoor activities or competitions linked to sports, dancing, and singing to help youngsters discover themselves in a variety of ways
instead
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 of studying in one place because it will cause many spinal diseases for
children
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as well as
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 form an unhealthy lifestyle.
In addition
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, physical education should be given more attention and more sessions to help students form exercise
habits
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 and become aware of the importance of health. In brief, a school is a place that creates opportunities to help
children
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 form healthy thinking and lifestyle.
Besides
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 that,
schools
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 are not solely responsible,
parents
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 must
also
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 lead their
children
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 toward healthier
habits
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. Guardians should spend more time with their
children
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,
for example
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 eating meals with them to control their diets thereby solving the problems of obesity or malnutrition.
Furthermore
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, exercise is essential for health and helps
children
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 prevent many severe ailments,
as well as
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 improve their vision, so
instead
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 of surfing the net or playing video games after every lesson, choose an appropriate sport to play with them.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 are their
children
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’s first teachers
hence
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 they have a responsibility to safeguard them from bad
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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. To recapitulate, because youngsters are not sophisticated enough to understand what is advantageous to them, both
schools
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 and
parents
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 should take appropriate measures to assist them to maintain healthy
habits
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.
While
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 the school will provide them with the framework for learning and performing sports, it will be up to their
parents
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 to accompany and encourage them to live healthy lifestyles.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
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