Some people think both governments and individuals spend too much on national celebrations such as New Year and other festivals. To some extent do you agree and disagree?

#people #governments #individuals #celebrations #year #festivals

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There are some arguments in favour of both governments and individuals putting much emphasis on national

festivals

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while

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ignoring traditional

festivals

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. To a certain

degree

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,degree

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I agree that we should highlight the importance of domestic celebrations.

However

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, I

also

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assist that we are supposed to have

Change the article

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open mind to foreign

festivals

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. Nowadays it has become a kind of fashion for young

people

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to celebrate international

festivals

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such

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as Valentine’s Day and Christmas. It seems that

people

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are easily influenced by consumerism and tend to purchase products they don’t need at all, which results in the waste of money and resources.

For example

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, chocolates are popular among young buyers,

which

Correct word choice

and

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are regarded as typical presents on Valentine’s Day.

In addition

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, the popularity of national celebrities may threaten traditional

culture

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and regional customs. If

people

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focus much more on national

festivals

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thus

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losing interest and confidence towards traditional

festivals

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such

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as Chinese New Year, traditional

culture

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will face the risk of vanishing.

However

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, I

also

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firmly believe that the cost of international

festivals

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brings us some benefits. The investment and funds in national celebrities from councils and officials convey the signal that the country is generous to external

culture

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, which is advantageous to cultural exchange, cultural diversity

as well as

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cultural prosperity. What’s more, some international celebrities are associated with positive meanings, and it’s the government’s duty to free

people

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from out-of-date conventional wisdom.

For instance

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, the celebration of International Women’s Day will improve

people

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’s awareness of gender equality and encourage

people

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to fight for women’s rights.

To sum up

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while

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it is understandable for both governments and individuals to emphasize the significance of traditional

festivals

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, it is equally vital for them to spend on national celebrations. I strongly believe we can strike a comprise between local

culture

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and international

culture

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Submitted by Erica Zhang on Wed Mar 22 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people hold that we should spend money and time on the protection of wild animals while others suggest that the money should be spent on populations living in the poorest areas of the world. What is your opinion

in many countries, people live longer and longer. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?