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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many workplaces, online communication is getting more common than meeting face to face. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplaces #communication #face #development
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it is true that online communication has become more and more common than meeting in person in the workplace these days. personally, I hold the belief that the drawbacks of
this
 tendency are overshadowed by its benefits. on the one hand, it is understandable to advocate the disadvantages of online interaction.
firstly
, technological devices often lack emotions and feelings that can be misunderstood if they are not used in an appropriate way.
consequently
, tensions among colleagues can be created, which would
be
Verb problem
make it
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 difficult for them to collaborate with each other at work.
furthermore
, online communication is sometimes believed to be unreliable because of the slow and faulty internet connection, which can lead to missed messages and lost emails.
for example
, in HO CHI MINH city, during peak hours, employees are unable to access the internet at the workplace, so they are blamed by their bosses for their low productivity.
on the other hand
, the positive sides of communicating online need to be taken into consideration. it is worth mentioning that companies are able to open several branches and departments in different parts of the world
due to
 the advancement of technology.
therefore
, employees can communicate with others from different branches, regardless of the long distance.
for
Capitalize word
For
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 instance, a company CEO can hold meetings with all managers in a myriad of departments via video-conferencing which can help save both money and time rather than meeting in person.
this
 can lead to a productive and efficient working system. in conclusion, I strongly believe that the demerits of
this
 trend are eclipsed by its merits because
this
 development has made people's professional
life become
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
 much easier. it is predicted that online communication will dominate the workplace thanks to its convenience
Submitted by bobong120906 on

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task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of both advantages and disadvantages of online communication in the workplace.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates some clear organization and linking of ideas, but there is room for improvement in the logical development of the arguments.
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