Some parents encourage their high school students to get an after-school or weekend job. Other parents cite the importance of getting good grades, discouraging their high school students from getting after- school or weekend jobs. What is your opinion or viewpoint on this subject? Use specific supporting details from your own observations, experience, or reading as you write your response
In the modern era, Inflation rates are increasing day by day and so
does
living expenses. The capacity of money as compared to the past for its purchasing power is degrading rapidly. To tackle Verb problem
are
this
problem, some families insist their youngsters do some part-time jobs while
others have the opposite opinion. I will discuss the importance of both phenomena along with
my opinion.
To commence with, those who are in favour of part-time jobs believe that they are the future of any country and will be able to work if they have prior experience. For instance
, Rattan Tata had worked along with
his educational program to secure his daily expenses and today he is the richest person in India. Such
examples are endless such
as Mukesh Ambani, Adani etc. It is rightly said that nobody can become successful after the syllabus but a hard-working one will always find his path.
On the other hand
, few reckon that studies provide knowledge and guidance through whose proper utilization one can create history. For example
, Chartered Accountants and Lawyers sit in one of the most competitive exams in the world and those who are best are selected for the post. Likewise
, Civil servants,military personnel and police also
go through strict scrutiny which requires a prior educational program in the aforesaid fields. It is true that knowledge is power and books provide a way towards it.
To conclude
, it is the personal choice of everyone to opt for a part-time job or not but I personally believe that working along with
the syllabus provides a platform for students to earn and uplift pressure to run the family from their parent's shoulders. The government should also
intervene and provide fixed working hours to scholars so that they can complete their education by paying from their pocket.Submitted by jassisingh320 on
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introduction
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your thesis. This will provide a clear direction for your essay from the beginning.
cohesion
Improve cohesion by using more linking words and phrases to make transitions between ideas smoother. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
examples
Provide more detailed and varied examples to support each argument more robustly. This will make your essay more convincing and demonstrate a higher level of critical thinking.
balanced view
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is essential in an opinion essay.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and provides a final perspective on the issue.
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