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Writing Samples
Band 5

Sone people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#sone #people #sites #impact #individuals #society
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A number of people believe that social networking
sites
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 have an enormous bad effect on both
individuals
Use synonyms
 and society. I partially agree with
this
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 opinion, because there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
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 reasons
to
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for
show examples
this
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 development. In
21st
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the 21st
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 century we have a big number of social websites which made
Use synonyms
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 life easier.
For example
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, we have websites under
Add an article
the name
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name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
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 “Wikipedia”, “Alibaba” or “AliExpress”. These social
sites
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allocated
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are allocated
show examples
 to science, study, shopping, and for goods,
also
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 they include almost all
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 which you will need to know about anything. I think it is supremely comfortable
to
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for
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 all people
,
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apply
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 since imagine you want to know something or you cannot find an argument
to
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for
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 your writing task, you can find it easily by searching online.
In addition
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, it helps you with studies, but
also
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 with buying goods, tools or clothes. From my point of
view
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,view
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 these social networking
sites
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 has
not
Correct your spelling
no
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 negative impact
to
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on
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 somebody or society.
On the other hand
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, we have
sites
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 which
includes
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include
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 psycho content,
porno
Correct word choice
and porno
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 videos, and
it
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they
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 can damage
to
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apply
show examples
your habitat and behaviour.
Furthermore
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, somebody makes
sites
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 to make money from it. For these
reasons'
Correct your spelling
reasons
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 website creators whose
site
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sites
show examples
 can harm
to
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apply
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our teenagers or children, do
this
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 because of money. In
this
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modernization
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modern
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century
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,century
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individuals
Use synonyms
 can make it only for money I think.
Moreover
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,
this
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 development
do
Remove the verb
apply
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can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society and
individuals
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 with their bad
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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. What is more, somebody can use it for buying something or searching for educational information.
However
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, there
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 a huge number of porno advertisements which can bother
to
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apply
show examples
searchers
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searchers'
searcher's
show examples
 mind.
To conclude
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, there
several
Add a missing verb
are several
show examples
 beneficial sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 development, meanwhile bad sides are more than good
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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