Some people regard video games as a harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videogames are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videogames #effect

Many claim that playing

video

games

can be useful for gamers and they

also

can have the time of their life. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain the advantages and disadvantages of playing

video

games

To begin

with, playing

video

games

have a number of advantages.

Firstly

, it can help

people

become multi-tasking. In fact,

video

games

are basically based on task achievement and in each level players have to do so many tasks to complete the level. Admittedly, if they can practice multi-tasking, they can complete the level easily.

Secondly

people

can find international friends. Indeed, most

video

games

have online parts in which users from all over the world can easily join and communicate with each other through the game by speaking or chatting.

However

video

games

can

also

have drawbacks

such

as depression and

anxiety

. When

people

keep playing

games

for

longer

Replace the word

long

show examples

hours,

this

can separate them from the real world and real

people

Therefore

, Through

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time they may feel loneliness and depression.

In addition

video

games

may produce a sense of

anxiety

people

. Most of the famous

video

games

are designed in which way that players have to complete the task in a certain time or they loos , and

this

tension can bring

anxiety

for players.

To conclude

, playing

video

games

have advantages including helping

people

become multi-task and find international friends , and

also

I mentioned the disadvantages of

this

habit including depression and

anxiety

. I believe if

people

can maintain a balanced schedule for playing

games

can be both useful and fun as well.

Submitted by adelkhoosogol on Wed Mar 22 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as a harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videogames are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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