IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. However, others believe that there are good reasons to have Zoos in the 21st century. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #zoos #st #century
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Unquestionably, every coin has two sides and so are the
people
Use synonyms
. society's
people
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 are divided into two groups and
therefore
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 keeping wild animals in
Use synonyms
Add an article
a zoo
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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 become
topic
Correct article usage
a topic
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 of debate among
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will compare and contrast both of the views
along with
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 my view which is in the favour of former view will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. On the one side,
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 masses believe that we should not restrict animals in Zoos.
Firstly
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, their lifestyle mainly depends on the forest and nature, so if we keep them in a fenced area, they cannot roam around freely.
Secondly
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, their food habits are based on the surrounding resources, but in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the zoo
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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zoo
Add a comma
,zoo
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 we can not feed them properly.
As a consequence
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, they get sick
and
Correct word choice
which
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 leads to death.
For instance
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,
survey
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a survey
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 conducted in Hong Kong reveals that keeping
wild
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a wild
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animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
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 in Zoos is one of the main reasons for
decline
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the decline
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 in
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 population. On the contrasting side,
people
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 who held another viewpoint say that forest land reducing because of urbanization so we should protect them by keeping them in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
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zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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. They believe that
,
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apply
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 keeping them in one place is the only option to protect
from
Correct pronoun usage
them from
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 hunting.
Furthermore
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, the governments should consider expanding
Use synonyms
zoo
Correct article usage
the zoo
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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, so that they can have more space to live.
To conclude
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, I would like to say that we should not keep wild animals in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
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,
Instead
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 agencies should take necessary measures to save them for future generations.
However
Linking Words
, it will depend upon the mindsets of
people
Use synonyms
 which view they are in favour of.
Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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