We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Every
communities
or even Change to a singular noun
community
countries
in the world must have problems going on internally. Some people think they should help any community or country that needs help. On the other side of the spectrum, some others Fix the agreement mistake
country
argues
they should only care about their own Change the verb form
argue
communities
and countries
. As a single human being, we should help other
when they are in need, as best as we can without abandoning our own community.
Fix the agreement mistake
others
To begin
with, humans are social beings that essentially cannot live without other people. If the boundaries of geography, religion, and identity can stop us doing
what is right, Change preposition
from doing
then
there would be no one helping another since each of us are
created differently. Take the first men on Earth as an example. They live Correct subject-verb agreement
is
comunally
in groups, hunt and forage together, until a community is formed. Living that way helps them survive difficult trouble and turbulence Correct your spelling
communally
such
as bad weather, wars, beast attacks, and many more. Likewise
, prior inhibitants
of Earth like Vikings, Mayans, or Aborigins usually unite with other tribes or Correct your spelling
inhabitants
communities
to aggregate power to defense
themselves or to attack enemies when needed. Replace the word
defend
Therefore
, helping other communities
or countries
is beneficial for forming relationship
and companionship.
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
However
, putting our focuses
only on other groups to the level of sacrificing our own people is Fix the agreement mistake
focus
also
unwise. On top of helping others, we should put ourselves first so that we can continuously help other communities
in the long run. For instance
, if we work for a health institution during a global pandemic and there is a shortage of medical supplies all around the world, giving our own aids
to other hospitals would be a questionable decision. There is no guarantee that our hospital will not have a wave of patients coming soon afterwards.
In conclusion, we should balance our stance in Fix the agreement mistake
aid
this
case. On one hand, focusing only on our communities
is seemingly quite a selfish move. On the other hand
, it is not a nifty choice to put other communities
or countries
above ours. Thus
, a
sagacity is needed to study the specific problem meticulously case Correct article usage
apply
per
case as part of the Change preposition
by
communities
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Task Achievement
Ensure your essay demonstrates a full understanding of the task by addressing all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Think about incorporating a broader range of arguments that directly link back to the question.
Task Achievement
Your essay would benefit from clearer, more targeted examples to support your arguments. Consider using current or historical events that directly demonstrate the consequences or benefits of the stance you are discussing. This makes your argument more persuasive and relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure is logical and easy to follow, but to improve cohesion, try linking sentences and paragraphs more seamlessly. Utilize a wider range of linking words and phrases to show the relationships between ideas more clearly.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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