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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Countries should produce the food that their population eat, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #population #import
Some people believe that producing
food
 for national consumption is better than importing
food
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 from other countries. I
am totally agree
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totally agree
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 about
this
 statement because focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
food
 production will bring benefits which are elaborated
below
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on below
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. First thing
first,
if the government focus on local
product
 for national consumption, it will support local farmers and industries.
Furthermore
, it
also
foster
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fosters
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Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
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economic
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 development of the country.
For instance
, the
Indonesia
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Indonesian
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 government have
policy
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the policy
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 to support local sugar production through limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugarcane import which brings profits for
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 sugar industry
especially
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,especially
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 the sugarcane farmers.
Secondly
, importing
product
also
 brings
health
risk
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risks
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for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Some bacteria from the home country could be attached
on
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to
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 imported vegetables and fruits,
then
, the bacteria will spread and cause
health
problem
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problems
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 for the destination country. As an illustration, raw vegetables bring E coli bacteria which is dangerous for human
health
.
Lastly
, consuming
local
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the local
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product
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products
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 will reduce the cost of transporting goods which is expensive. Some raw products
also
 require high
maintenances
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of imported
product
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products
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 to keep
the
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apply
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good quality, and it will make
high
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the high
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price
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prices
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 of the
food
product
 as the
consequences
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consequence
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.
However
, not all people can afford
high
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the high
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price
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prices
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 of
food
for
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on
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their
Change the word
a
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 daily basis. Taking an example, imported meat requires a big freezer in the transporting process which is cost a lot of money. Unsurprisingly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imported meat is more expensive than local meat. All in all, I do agree that producing local
food
 is the better way to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the population’s consumption than importing
food
product
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products
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. The reasons are about supporting local industry, preventing
health
risk
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risks
show examples
 and reducing the transporting cost.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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