IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries should produce the food that their population eat, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #population #import
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Some people believe that producing
food
Use synonyms
 for national consumption is better than importing
food
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 from other countries. I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
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 about
this
Linking Words
 statement because focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
food
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 production will bring benefits which are elaborated
below
Change preposition
on below
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. First thing
first,
Linking Words
if the government focus on local
product
Use synonyms
 for national consumption, it will support local farmers and industries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
foster
Change the verb form
fosters
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Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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 development of the country.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
Indonesia
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Indonesian
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 government have
policy
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the policy
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 to support local sugar production through limit
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugarcane import which brings profits for
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 sugar industry
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 the sugarcane farmers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, importing
product
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also
Linking Words
 brings
health
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risk
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risks
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for
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Some bacteria from the home country could be attached
on
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to
show examples
 imported vegetables and fruits,
then
Linking Words
, the bacteria will spread and cause
health
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problem
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problems
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 for the destination country. As an illustration, raw vegetables bring E coli bacteria which is dangerous for human
health
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, consuming
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 will reduce the cost of transporting goods which is expensive. Some raw products
also
Linking Words
 require high
maintenances
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 of imported
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 to keep
the
Correct article usage
apply
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good quality, and it will make
high
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the high
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price
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prices
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 of the
food
Use synonyms
product
Use synonyms
 as the
consequences
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consequence
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, not all people can afford
high
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the high
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 of
food
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
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their
Change the word
a
show examples
 daily basis. Taking an example, imported meat requires a big freezer in the transporting process which is cost a lot of money. Unsurprisingly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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imported meat is more expensive than local meat. All in all, I do agree that producing local
food
Use synonyms
 is the better way to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 the population’s consumption than importing
food
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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. The reasons are about supporting local industry, preventing
health
Use synonyms
risk
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risks
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 and reducing the transporting cost.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: