IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, governments spend large sums of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #governments #sums #money #arts #taxpayers #health #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many nations, governments spend a lot of budget on the arts and many
people
 think that
this
money
 would be great to spend on
health
 and
education
 because
this
 budget came from taxes from the population in their country.
This
 essay will argue about paying a lot of
money
 to arts and
also
 on
health
 and
education
. In my opinion, I totally believe that paying a big budget for
health
such
 as buying new medical technology for hospitals and paying a lot of
money
 for
schools
 to develop
education
 is better than spending
money
 on the arts.
First,
I will write about the benefits of
schools
. For
schools
, it is very important to many countries to have good
schools
 for their
people
 because there need to have an educated and government can develop their humans with a good
education
 so, they need to buy new technology and a good book.
In addition
, they need to give high salaries to
people
 who work in
education
 like teachers and staff.
Second,
hospitals are very important for
people
 same as a school because everyone needs to have good
health
 and government need to take care of humans . So, it is very beneficial to pay
money
 to
schools
 and medical staff.
On the other hand
,
To sum up
,
Submitted by itchayatop31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: