Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, various health diseases are caused by consuming

products

Use synonyms

high in

sugar

Use synonyms

which are manufactured by different companies. Many experts suggest by making these

products

Use synonyms

more expensive, we can encourage individuals to consume less

sugar

Use synonyms

. I vehemently agree

due to

Linking Words

searching for cheaper alternatives and saving

money

Use synonyms

. One of the main reasons why making sugary

products

Use synonyms

can help

people

Use synonyms

is by encouraging them to find other options. When a product is expensive,

people

Use synonyms

may pay less attention to it and look for something cheaper in order to be able to buy more food with less

money

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

case, the chances of buying healthy goods will be higher since most of the unhealthy ones are hard to purchase.

For example

Linking Words

, when sugary

products

Use synonyms

like biscuits are expensive,

people

Use synonyms

might search for cheaper ones on the shelves, which might contain

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

unhealthy ingredients and

also

Linking Words

be cheaper, including

dietery

Correct your spelling

dietary

biscuits. Another reason is saving

money

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

have plenty of financial concerns in their lives.

Thus

Linking Words

, saving

money

Use synonyms

in any situation is very important. When

products

Use synonyms

high in

sugar

Use synonyms

become expensive, individuals might become less eager to purchase them since buying goods may turn into a big financial challenge for them.

For example

Linking Words

, many children eat breakfast cereals worldwide,

this

Linking Words

meal is mostly made of ingredients high in

sugar

Use synonyms

. When

this

Linking Words

becomes expensive, parents in order to be able to save

money

Use synonyms

for other important aspects of their lives, including

rents

Fix the agreement mistake

rent

show examples

, loans and the like, tend to buy fewer cereals, which leads to buying less harmful food. In conclusion,

products

Use synonyms

high in

sugar

Use synonyms

are made by companies worldwide. Some

people

Use synonyms

recommend by making them expensive,

people

Use synonyms

will be motivated to consume less sugary goods. I agree

due to

Linking Words

the tendency towards buying healthy alternative ones and

also

Linking Words

financial benefits, making sugary

products

Use synonyms

will help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

m.lotfipour92

Jun 9, 2025

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger.

coherence and cohesion

Add more linking words to improve flow between your points, which will help readers follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Your main points are clear and relevant to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

You have a good introduction and conclusion that summarize your opinion well.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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