IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar charts and line graph below show the results of a survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London think of the city. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar charts and line graph below show the results of a survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London think of the city. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #line #show #results #survey #period #people #london #city #information #features #comparisons
The assigned bar graph expounds
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about how the results of a survey conducted over three year period to discover what people who live in
the
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apply
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London think of the city. The data is calibrated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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percentage. It seems that those citizens
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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London, which noticed that
range
Correct article usage
the range
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 of shopping had the highest proportion in
each
Change the determiner
every
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 three years, about
of
Change preposition
apply
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41% to 45%. In the contrast, the lowest proportion was recorded in
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 around
of
Change preposition
apply
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20% to 25% in
first
Correct article usage
the first
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, second and third years. Along
this
Change preposition
with this
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, the job opportunities and the mixture of people
Change preposition
in that
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that
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 areas
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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seemed equal percentile in between 35% and 37%. Probing
further
, the ratio of
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 and art gallery
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stood at 21% in the beginning year but the fraction was slightly rise
of
Change preposition
to
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 3% in 2 and 3 years and ends its peaked value of 27%. Afterwards,
night life
Correct your spelling
nightlife
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,
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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had
same
Change the article
the same
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 ratio as compared to
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
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 system into 20% to 25%.
Overall
, it is clear from the above graph that the results of a survey showed that shopping, job opportunities and
mixed
Change the form of the verb
mix
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 of people that things, which are loved by every person
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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London.
Submitted by bhullarsimran2121 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 72%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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