IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less. Do you agree or disagree and give your opinion.

It is true that many
people
Use synonyms
 become less creative, and
use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of modern technology has made them less
action
Replace the word
active
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.
However
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, I agree that
this
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 case
for
Add a missing verb
is for
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 everyone, and there are still many
people
Use synonyms
 who understand these drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, it is undeniable that many
people
Use synonyms
 who addicted
with
Change preposition
to
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 unnecessary habits, and
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they
are now prefer
Change the verb form
now prefer
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handle
Fix the infinitive
to handle
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 problems
with
Change preposition
in
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 straightforward ways,
such
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 as
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
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some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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mathematical exercises, and
translate
Wrong verb form
translating
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 some articles
to
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into
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 another language.
For example
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, during the preparation time passed
the
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by the
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 universities, most of the applicants prefer using new technological features rather than solving exercises by themselves.
Similarly
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, during school times, students are more likely, they cannot solve any difficulties of mathematical theories and exercises without special programs.
On the other hand
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, they are still many
people
Use synonyms
 who understand and appreciate the original advantages of modern technologies.
For example
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, during my preparation for the IELTS examination, I tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
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 global leisure growing industry
,
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apply
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 and avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
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less creative thoughts, I
was approached
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have approached
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 these issues with humility and clarity.
This
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 is because
,
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apply
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 many adults want to land a job
from
Change preposition
in
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 a lucrative occupation.
However
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, some adults are approaching new modern technologies in the wrong ways.
For example
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, everyone can research
to source
Change the verb form
sources
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 of knowledge,
such
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 as websites, books and many more.
Furthermore
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, the parents
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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also
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 can contribute to
their
Change the word
the
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 improvement process of their children.
In addition
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, they should take limitations to their usage time of internet, and interest
to
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in
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 their malicious habits. In conclusion, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 understand the meaning of modern technologies and useful features in
Correct article usage
the long-term
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long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive consumption
  • instant gratification
  • creative content creation
  • problem-solving skills
  • streaming services
  • social media platforms
  • online tutorials
  • enhancing creativity
  • digital age
  • technological advancements
  • cognitive skills
  • innovation
  • interactive platforms
  • virtual reality
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