IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, governments spend large sums of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however, think that this money would be better spent on health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #governments #sums #money #arts #taxpayers #health #education
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It has been
highly
Correct article usage
a highly
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 debatable topic these days
that
Correct word choice
apply
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Whether the
government
 should allot
the
Correct article usage
apply
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funds for the recreation field, or focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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and
education
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the public. I completely agree with
this
 statement
due to
 certain
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
specific reasons. There are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of reasons that can explain well
that
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 the authorities need to consider spending
money
 on
education
 and
health
. The primary factor that could be taken into account is that arts
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
indispensable
Add an article
an indispensable
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 role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive environment.
This
 is because artists are using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recycle
Change the form of the verb
recycled
show examples
 materials to create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful art. To illustrate, In India, empty walls on the roads are painted with colours and gives amazing feature when walking.
In addition
 to
this
, it supports
thé
Correct your spelling
the
 efforts of you g children who are performing
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
 in
Add an article
the arts
show examples
arts
Change the noun form
art
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 field and lack knowledge in other
ares
Correct your spelling
areas
 of study.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I
also
 believe
thát
Correct your spelling
that
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 and
education
 sectors should have equal access to the
money
 provided by the
government
.
This
 is
due to
 the cause
thắt
Correct your spelling
that
education
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
 as ả significant tool that can ensure
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future
of
Change preposition
for
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 any nation. People who are below
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
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 are not able to study
due to
 financial instability,
hence
 free educational services must be introduced to these minor families.
The
Correct article usage
An
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 eminent example of free
education
 can be seen in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 where the
government
 is taking the whole responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 their
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 until the age of 18 in case of
financial
Add an article
the financial
a financial
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 crisis.
Apart from
this
,
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 sector must introduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
health
 services to promote thè
health
 and wellness, since all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals are paying huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of taxes
while
 they were working.
Therefore
, it is necessary that
government
 needs to help them
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 later age when they are unable to pay for their
health
 conditions. In conclusion, I accept that
government
 needs to give some
money
 to
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
arts
Change the noun form
art
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 field,
while
 I believe that
Health
 and educational departments require
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of
money
, and should never be neglected.
Submitted by Navneet Dhand on

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