IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree?

#health #exercise
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It is undeniable that the most effective way to become more healthy is to do a regular
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
.
However
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, in my opinion, there are some
factors
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 that should be taken into consideration to keep our bodies fit.
To begin
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 with, doing
regularly
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regular
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excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
 can
consequently
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 lead to fitness in the long run. First and foremost, it helps strengthen our heart and
muscle
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muscles
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, which is important because we can gain more stamina when it comes to participating in certain activities,
such
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 as lifting things or climbing a ladder.
Secondly
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, it
is
Verb problem
benefits
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 not only
benefit
Verb problem
apply
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our bodies but
also
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 our minds because of certain hormones, which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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 us feel more pleasant after working out.
As a result
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, it is essential for improving our
overall
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 health in the long term.
On the other hand
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, other
factors
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 are crucial in terms of maintaining well-being.
Firstly
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, needless to
say
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say,
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 that diets and
nutritients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 are significant
factors
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to make
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in making
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ones
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one
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 healthier. Vitamins and minerals from food have played an important role in modern diets, which is vital that they
helps
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help
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 protect
various
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against various
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 serious diseases these days.
For example
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, individuals who consume highly
nutriented
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nutritious
 food are likely to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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longevity in
lifespan
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their lifespan
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.
Moreover
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, those who have ordinary sleep patterns may contribute to a better level of productivity at
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the workplaces
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workplaces
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workplace
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,
thus
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, they can perform their tasks without sleep deprivation.
Hence
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, the more we are aware of nutrition and sufficient rest, the better our fitness will be. In conclusion, even though doing
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise frequently has many health benefits, other
factors
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,
such
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 as balanced diets and enough sleep should be taken
in to
Correct your spelling
into
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accounted
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account
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 as well. I am of
opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
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 that the balance should
be ensure
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be ensured
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 to optimal fitness.
Submitted by keakyenge on

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task response
The essay addresses the task but could provide a more complete response by elaborating more on the advantages and disadvantages of daily exercise.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but there is some lack of coherence and cohesion in the body paragraphs. It can be improved by using better transition words and ensuring a logical flow of ideas.
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