some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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agree with the viewpoint that

music

is a good approach to

combination

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the combination

a combination

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of various cultures and ages together. first,like the

arts

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art

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work,

music

is a

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

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what

Correct pronoun usage

which

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composers and

performancers

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performances

performers

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apply

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express their creations,

enmotions

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emotions

and the experience of their

lifes

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lives

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apply

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when

audience

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the audience

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listening

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tolistening

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the

muisc

Correct your spelling

music

they could generate resonance with the creators which maybe they have some identical points or feelings,it’s like a mental bridge that could connect people’s heart,in there,no matter where you come from,what ages you are,everyone can communicate with each other in the field that

music

bring

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brings

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in.

secondly

,the diversity of

music

indicate

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indicates

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the different cultures of

creator’s

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the creator’s

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backgound

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background

while

some times

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sometimes

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the

inspriation

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inspiration

of the

music

comes from other countries,

for example

,the famous musician

debussy

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Debussy

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,his orchestral

muisc

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music

sea which consist of three

chapter

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chapters

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its

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it's

it is

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insprated

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inspired

inspected

from

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katsushika

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Katsushika

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hokusai

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Hokusai

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a master of

ukiyoe

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ukiyo-e

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painting,it

implys

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implies

the interact of arts,there

have

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has

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no boundary,we could make the

culture

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cultural

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fusion.

finally

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think

Add the particle

tothink

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cultivate

Wrong verb form

cultivating

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someone’s

interesting

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interest

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such

music

arts

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and arts

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is very imperative,

cause

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because

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it will significantly broaden your

knowlege

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knowledge

,let you discover different cultures and apply it

into

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your work

maybe

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may be

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then

your perspective,mind and imagination will be more profound.

Submitted by 6885848 on Fri Mar 24 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

183 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Many work people today work at home rather than in an office. Are there more advantages to working remotely than disadvantages?

Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter suggest a suitable date and time for the party recommend a venue propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

Rich countries often give financial aid to poor countries, but it does not solve poverty, so rich countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries young people have less leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?