There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures

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It is undeniable that a globalised society has been affecting

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apply

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an increasing number of

crime

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rates

Use synonyms

severely

nowaday

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nowadays

show examples

Although

Linking Words

some people propound that the most effective way to deal with

this

Linking Words

situation is to use the

death

Use synonyms

penalty as a deterrent, others argue that there are practical methods

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

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be taken into account.

This

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essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, crimes should be reduced by stronger penalties. To put it simply, reducing

crime

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rates

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is compulsory in today's society, which

also

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results in some benefits. Take

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the

show examples

example of the American

communites

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communities

community

, there are many crimes occurred

such

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as thefts, robberies, minor crimes,

mass

Correct word choice

and mass

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shootings, so the US has been regarded as one of the highest

crime

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rates

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this

Linking Words

world recently. American authorities are adopting

the

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apply

show examples

stonger

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stronger

punishments to deal with

such

Linking Words

issues by using

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death

Add an article

the death

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penalty as a

deterant

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deterrent

. In

this

Linking Words

way, their government will

also

Linking Words

greatly reduce the exorbitant cost of prisons and convicts, which results in a lower

rete

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rate

show examples

of violence in the near future.

On the other hand

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, some people think that there should be other procedures to tackle

this

Linking Words

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

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. To put it

further

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, it is morally wrong if most criminals are always put to

death

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Thus

Linking Words

, they are supposed to reflect themselves through concentration camps, so

this

Linking Words

will improve better standards of their lives in the long run.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, certain vocational skills should be imposed by the government because

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they

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helps

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help

show examples

convicts relax and have positive outlooks. In Thailand,

for example

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, numerous ex-prisoners become more advantageous to their communities by doing good deeds

due to

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good

Correct article usage

the good

show examples

opportunities

the

Correct your spelling

they

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received

Wrong verb form

receive

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. Needless to say, those

wrong doers

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wrongdoers

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are supposed to have time to reflect

themselves

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on themselves

show examples

. In conclusion, a modernised world has contributed to exponential

crime

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rates

Use synonyms

While

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some people claim that those criminals should be punished to

death

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, others suppose that there are some ethical ways to alleviate

this

Linking Words

issue.

Submitted by keakyenge on Fri Mar 24 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.

task response

Ensure a more complete and comprehensive response to the task by addressing all aspects of the prompt.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
recidivism
rehabilitation
ethical considerations
economic factors
social factors
community policing
public opinion
recidivism rates
community-driven initiatives
modern policing methods
death penalty
serious crimes
crime rates

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?