IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

21.Some say the best way to deal with public health issues is to invest in developing new medicines. Others say that a better way is to promote a healthy lifestyle. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #health #medicines #lifestyle
Having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
 is a more important wish and need for everyone. Some
people
 opine that the best method to cope with public health problems is to invest in producing new
medicines
.
Whereas
 others are of the opinion that we should promote a healthy
lifestyle
. On the one hand, individuals who are in the favour of making new
medicines
 give their reasons as follows, The first and foremost reason is that
medicines
 can easily cure any disease so we should
focus
 on investing in the medicine industry.
For instance
, recent research has shown that 90% of health problems are solved by
medicines
. Another reason for
this
 view is that more
people
 think that
this
 industry will open more doors of employment for
people
 as we can see that currently more
people
 are employed in the medical industry.
On the other hand
, those who advocate that we should
focus
 on promoting a healthy
lifestyle
instead
 of investing in
medicines
 give their reasons as follows,
firstly
, the research and production of these
medicines
 will cost a lot
instead
 we should spend these funds on other crucial fields
such
 as education and against poverty.
Secondly
, the usage of these
medicines
 will have definitely many side-effects And will arise many other diseases.
Thirdly
 some diseases are not curable with
medicines
such
 as obesity and require a healthy diet and regular vigorous exercise. I believe that we should
focus
 on promoting awareness about having a healthy
lifestyle
 and
medicines
 are only much helpful in some emergencies.
To conclude
, I reiterate my opinion that we should
focus
 on having a healthy diet and doing regular exercises
instead
 of investing in
medicines
.
Submitted by dk057091 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: