IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

#parents #children #home #school
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The parents think they should give more attention rather than a
school
Use synonyms
 because under the campus teacher pay less concentration to
a particular students
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular student
particular students
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. Some parents believe on
school
Use synonyms
 is better for their
son
Fix the agreement mistake
sons
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 to make new friends and learn new activities with classmates. I agree with the statement about sending their
kids
Use synonyms
 to
school
Use synonyms
 for a better future. First and foremost claim that
kids
Use synonyms
 are
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
limited comfort zone whenever they are going outside for a limited time after that they become irritated. For ,example one child spend two years at the
home
Use synonyms
 at the time of lockdown
however
Linking Words
 after the lockdown
lack
Change the verb form
lacks
show examples
Change the article
the
show examples
confidence to talk to someone else. It is a drawback of spending quality days
in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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home
Use synonyms
. So we are developing their
kids
Use synonyms
 for
an outside games
Correct the article-noun agreement
outside games
an outside game
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 like daily going for ground sports and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
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social distance games activities for boosting their physical and mind thinking.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the children are going to
school
Use synonyms
 to study
then
Linking Words
 they enhance new skills and confidence to speak with another person.
In addition
Linking Words
, under the competition game with
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
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 between
home
Use synonyms
 or
school
Use synonyms
 children which one is better for physical activity
then
Linking Words
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 as outgoing students are well than
homestay
Add an article
a homestay
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, all the families are sending their babies to study so they are
well mannered
Add a hyphen
well-mannered
show examples
 and develop their thinking abilities and improve their routine life with fitness.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the parents believe with both schools help them for coordinating with other people and learn new things and at
Use synonyms
home
Add a comma
,home
show examples
kids
Use synonyms
 lack confidence with other people and have lots of limitations outside the
home
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sarabjeetkaur079 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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