Many parents choose to teach their children at home rather than sending their children to school. Do you think the benefits of home-schooling outweigh its drawbacks?

The parents think they should give more attention rather than a
school
because under the campus teacher pay less concentration to
a particular students
Correct the article-noun agreement
a particular student
particular students
show examples
. Some parents believe on
school
is better for their
son
Fix the agreement mistake
sons
show examples
to make new friends and learn new activities with classmates. I agree with the statement about sending their
kids
to
school
for a better future. First and foremost claim that
kids
are
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
limited comfort zone whenever they are going outside for a limited time after that they become irritated. For ,example one child spend two years at the
home
at the time of lockdown
however
after the lockdown
lack
Change the verb form
lacks
show examples
Change the article
the
show examples
confidence to talk to someone else. It is a drawback of spending quality days
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
. So we are developing their
kids
for
an outside games
Correct the article-noun agreement
outside games
an outside game
show examples
like daily going for ground sports and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
social distance games activities for boosting their physical and mind thinking.
Secondly
, the children are going to
school
to study
then
they enhance new skills and confidence to speak with another person.
In addition
, under the competition game with
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
between
home
or
school
children which one is better for physical activity
then
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
as outgoing students are well than
homestay
Add an article
a homestay
show examples
.
Therefore
, all the families are sending their babies to study so they are
well mannered
Add a hyphen
well-mannered
show examples
and develop their thinking abilities and improve their routine life with fitness.
On the contrary
, the parents believe with both schools help them for coordinating with other people and learn new things and at
home
Add a comma
,home
show examples
kids
lack confidence with other people and have lots of limitations outside the
home
.
Submitted by sarabjeetkaur079 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: