IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people are moving from rural areas to big cities. Why has this happened?To what extent do you think it is a good trend?

#people #areas #cities #trend
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Currently, lots of
people
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 are moving from rural areas to big
cities
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 ,especially metropolises. They may think that there are more job opportunities in big
cities
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 and they can enjoy a better quality of life in
cities
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.
However
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,
this
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 trend will present many challenges to
cities
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. There are two main reasons why
people
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 tend to migrate to big
cities
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.
First,
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more companies are located in
cities
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, so it is easier for
people
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 to land decent and well-paid jobs.
In contrast
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, there are fewer job opportunities in the countryside
due to
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 the fact that many industries are underdeveloped. Another reason is that citizens have easy access to more comprehensive and perfect public services, including education and health care. Young couples who used to live in the countryside hope their children receive a good education, which can enable their children to break the cycle of poverty.
However
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, the increase in population caused by rural population migration will cause great pressure on the infrastructure and housing of the city. Some
cities
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 don’t have enough land to accommodate a large number of
people
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. Lots of migrants,
for example
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, end up living in slums and bearing adverse living conditions as urban facilities fail to meet the growing demand for accommodation and they can’t afford the cost of the house. Another problem associated with the rural-to-urban shift is that the rural-urban income disparity will grow rather than diminish. Those energetic, diligent and creative youngsters will move to
cities
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 to pursue
further
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 education and land jobs.
As a result
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, the labour shortage in rural communities makes it difficult to revitalize the rural economy.
Also
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, some young
people
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 will choose to commit crimes because of the gap between rich and poor. In a nutshell, the poor employment prospects and the underdevelopment of the economy lead to the population shift.
This
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 is not a positive trend because it affects the normal operation of
cities
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 and widens the gap between the rich and the poor.
Submitted by songtingyan0927 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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