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Band 5

Some people think that students should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community Do you agree or disagree?

#people #students #work #time #community
Nowadays, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outside slightly increased. Somebody's
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that the young generation should
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 their free
time
to work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 without
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 for helping
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 crowd. I think that
this
 rule is not comfortable for everyone, especially for the modern generation.
This
 essay
examine
Change the verb form
examines
show examples
 the work which student do not
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
would
Change preposition
in would
show examples
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 cancelled. Not all
students
 have free
time
. Adults think that
students
 have a plethora of leisure
time
,
furthermore
,
this
 group guess that youngsters do not spend their
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 useful things. Actually, the education system in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 decade has some
Correct quantifier usage
more difficultes
show examples
difficultes
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 than before.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant part of young representatives have hobbies
such
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a sport,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art, a reading.
Therefore
 plenty of
students
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 free
time
 for unpaid work.
For instance
, the South Korean government cancelled any type of occupation for their citizens to 25 years old because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
this
 period of
time
 ,
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
 should
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
 only the self-growing. If
students
 do not enjoy volunteering, it might be unproductive. People can not
working
Change the verb form
work
be working
show examples
 well
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 do not interest. In democratic countries , the government can not say to youth about requirements for doing specific actions which usually
are not accept
Change the verb form
are not accepted
show examples
 by them.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
 of
this
 , it is
broken
Wrong verb form
breaking
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moral principles and affected their freedom.
Thus
, nobody in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world
do
Change the verb
is
show examples
not
Rewrite the sentence
apply
show examples
able
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 anything. In conclusion, I
am totally disagree
Change the verb form
totally disagree
show examples
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 statement because
students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 not a lot of
time
 and
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have had right to choose during their
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
.
That is
 why I believe that society will not interrupt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
 life
Submitted by xzibitabdu on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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