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Band 5.5

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million).

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million).
#changes #people #travel #million
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The table provides information on how many
people
Use synonyms
 visited abroad in 4 different
years
Use synonyms
 between 1990 to 2005. Data is given for 1990, 1995, 2000, and 2005 and focused areas are, Africa, America, Asia and
Correct article usage
the pacific
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pacific
Change the capitalization
Pacific
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, Europe and
Middle
Correct article usage
the Middle
show examples
 east.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
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 count of
people
Use synonyms
 increased from 448.9 million in 1990 to 615.2 million in 1995 showing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rapid growth in a 5-year period of time
while
Linking Words
 after that, it shows a slow upward trend.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, during the 25
years
Use synonyms
 of time overseas travels increased gradually in all the regions except in America where the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who went overseas had declined in 2005 compared to 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in all four
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
,years
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 Europeans were responsible for more than half of the total count
while
Linking Words
 the Middle East was the least contributor in all these
years
Use synonyms
. The number
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
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 from Asia and
Pacific
Correct article usage
the Pacific
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 region who went
abroard
Correct your spelling
abroad
 had more than doubled in 2005 which was 135.8 million
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 25
years
Use synonyms
 earlier.
Submitted by vishvaisuranga on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant increase
  • international travel
  • popular destinations
  • economic growth
  • technological advancements
  • ease of travel
  • cultural exchange
  • globalization
  • fluctuations
  • trend
  • millions of travelers
  • annual growth rate
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