IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The government should allocate more funds to public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music, painting and so on. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#government #funds #services #money #arts #music
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It is arguing that
government
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 should spend more money on public
services
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 rather than wasting money on arts
such
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 as music and painting. I partially agree and disagree with
this
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 statement. On one hand, it is very important for every state to have
funds
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 for public
services
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 because it will help people to access
services
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 easily and cheaper.
Furthermore
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, another advantage of public
services
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 is that
this
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 will assist the
government
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 financially and have more
funds
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 for other projects as well.
For instance
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, from
public
Add an article
the public
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 ,transport every state has to earn a large proportion of money and it helps too much in the country's economy
as well as
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 with people because everyone can use it at a lower price and everywhere they want.
On the other hand
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, spending
this
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 budget on other activities like music and painting is
also
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 essential for the public and governments should have
funds
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 for it.
In addition
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, arts like music and painting are more crucial for the culture of a country and because of that our traditions and customs will be alive for a long time from one generation to another other generation.
For example
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, in ,Egypt we have seen too many painted pictures which have more than a hundred years of history and because of that Egypt is one of the most historical countries in the world. In conclusion, we will have
the
Correct article usage
an
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 equal budget for arts and public
services
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 because both are important for a nation
as well as
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 for the
government
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 and we can not ignore these activities because of budget. so
this
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 is
also
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 our responsibility to help the
government
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 to have
funds
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 for these two activities.
Submitted by dk057091 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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