An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that donot provide much nutritions . This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children . What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A large number of teenagers have become addicted to fast foods and aerated drinks that have no nutritional value. So,

this

Linking Words

diet has led to growth in obesity among children and

this

Linking Words

further

Linking Words

leads to many problems.

This

Linking Words

essay shall discuss the details of the problem and the required solution with examples in subsequent paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the main issue associated with it is bad health.

Firstly

Linking Words

, obesity can lead to serious diseases like high blood pressure, sugar and cholesterol.

Moreover

Linking Words

, nowadays human life span has decreased

due to

Linking Words

these unhealthy activities. To cite an example, as per a report youngsters in the

united states

Correct your spelling

United States

show examples

america

Change the capitalization

America

show examples

consume the largest percentage of junk foods and cold drinks and are most likely to be affected by bad health in their coming future.

Thus

Linking Words

, healthy eating is a must for everyone.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, initiatives should be taken to curb

this

Linking Words

before it is out of hand. First of all, teenagers should be taught the adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

of consuming junk foods and cold drinks and

this

Linking Words

should be done by both teachers and parents.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the government should increase taxes on these food products and place warning messages and

notice

Correct subject-verb agreement

notices

show examples

near these shops.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan, minors are educated about healthy living in their schools and

hence

Linking Words

, the country has healthy living. In conclusion, As seen above obesity caused by consuming fast food and aerated brew causes severe health-related problems in teenagers. So, necessary steps must to taken considering the health of the nation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the government and parents must ensure children

dosed

Verb problem

show examples

not get addicted to these things.

soumya.khatuaSat Mar 25 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that you provide a more balanced analysis of the obesity issue, discussing both health implications and necessary solutions more comprehensively.

coherence and cohesion

Try to enhance the flow of your essay by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

Consider devoting more detail to your examples to demonstrate a stronger understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.

task achievement

The points raised regarding the role of parents and government initiatives show insight into potential solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is true that these days, many wild animals are on the verge of extinction. Thus, many people argue that authorities and individuals should contribute to the conservation of these species. Meanwhile, there is also a widespread belief that priority should be given to human welfare. In this essay, both sides will be explored, followed by my opinion.
6.5
band
You went to another city for a training course and stayed at a friend’s house for a week. They have been great hosts. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, thank them for having you at their house for a week express your gratitude for their hospitality say how much you miss them
How are you? I hope that you and your family are in good health and mood. I am writing this letter to express my gratitude to Lily and her family.
7
band
In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
These days countries’ populations are getting old and creating problems in terms of finances for treatment, in addition, individuals may be required to cover a greater portion of their medical costs in the future. I totally agree with this statement because as the population ages, the demand for Healthcare services increases and the costs associated with providing these services also rise.
7
band
The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Some people believe that the adoration of a few fields, such as fashion and consumer goods, is an illustration of the likelihood that people will love to copy each other. Nonetheless, I contend that the phenomenon was not solely triggered by duplication intentions; it was also induced by several reasons, which will be discussed in the following paragraph.
6
band
You have recently moved to a new neighborhood. You want to recommend a local restaurant to a friend who will be visiting you soon. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Describe the restaurant and its location. Explain why you recommend the restaurant. Suggest a time when you could go there together.
Hi . I hope this letter finds you well.As you know I just moved to Gisha last week and now we are living in same neighborhood.I really miss you and want to invite you for a meal in a restaurant which I just discovered in our neighborhood.

An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that donot provide much nutritions . This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children . What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You went to another city for a training course and stayed at a friend’s house for a week. They have been great hosts. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, thank them for having you at their house for a week express your gratitude for their hospitality say how much you miss them

In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?