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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

#deforestation #development #species #habitat #point #extinction #animals #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
Correct article usage
Animals
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 are important for the reason they provide
a
Remove the article
apply
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conservation for the balance of
environment
Add an article
the environment
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. The trees
cut
Add a missing verb
are cut
show examples
 down every day , and
expande
Correct your spelling
expand
expanded
the
Change preposition
in the
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 urban areas ,
then
Linking Words
 the hunting
are
Change the verb form
is
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 damaging
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
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 of
animals
Use synonyms
 and plants because they are fragile and belong
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 indigenous area. Personally, I strongly agree
so
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 each species must
be protect
Change the verb form
be protected
show examples
 by people. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Animals
Use synonyms
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plants and other species
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
participate life of the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 at the manufacture and produce many things like a coat, a
handback
Correct your spelling
handbag
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shoes and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes.
Also
Linking Words
,
that
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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situation
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
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their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
,
although
Linking Words
 the companies and the governments have
announcement
Replace the word
announced
show examples
 and punishment
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans doing illegal hunting the sell them ,
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 conditions
are being widen
Change the verb form
are being widened
are widening
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at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the areas.
For instance
Linking Words
 recently days
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Azerbaijan countries publish a statistical report and
this
Linking Words
 report
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 thousand of persons were punished.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
this
Linking Words
 precaution is not enough ,to stop illegal work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
these are problems
a
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 gradual growth every year,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
,contrast
show examples
 there are many
of
Change preposition
apply
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solutions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the governments ought to apply heavy
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
 and they will be using high quantity punishment of money.
For example
Linking Words
 these days, there are voluntary companies and those
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
such
Linking Words
 as
' natural
Correct article usage
the ' natural
show examples
 environment'. That situation is
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to the world. In conclusion, I would maintain that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
each human
understand
Correct subject-verb agreement
understands
show examples
and pay attention
where
Change preposition
to where
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 and other species must be
preservation
Replace the word
preserved
show examples
by humans. In the meantime, we need learning to the children, they will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
take care of desperate creatures.
Submitted by vasif.askerlii on

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