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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss and both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there has been a positive trend that
sport
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 has gained popularity in society.
However
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, others think that
sport
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 is just a
leisure
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activity
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. In my perspective, both parties are reasonable which I will elaborate below First of all, it is undeniable fact that there are some reasons why
sports
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 are essential to society. One of the reasons is that
people
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 can become healthier than ever before. By playing
sports
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 frequently,
people
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 can release toxins from their bodies in order to help the government
to
Verb problem
apply
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save money which is allocated to health insurance residents.
For example
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, the number of obesity and heart
attack
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attacks
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, today,
decrease
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has decreased
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 significantly throughout the world because of
sports
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 implementation. Another reason is that young generations are able to cultivate good habits. With the rapid advancement of technology, they tend to do sedentary activities
such
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 as playing computer games and chatting through social media as well. If parents encourage their children to do
sports
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instead
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 of playing games at home, children can improve their social interaction with peers.
However
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, there are opposing arguments saying that a
sport
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 is nothing more than a
leisure
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activity
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. It is true that
sports
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 can be counted as a
leisure
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activity
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 because not everyone has the abilities and potential to become a professional sportsperson.
Therefore
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,
people
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 generally consider it a simple
activity
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 for relaxing their minds and body during holidays.
Apart from
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this
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, many families see
sport
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 as a way to strengthen the sense of belonging to relatives
especially
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, especially
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 for children because parents' time is spent more doing job tasks and put less care on them. All things considered,
although
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 some
people
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 believe that
leisure
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activity
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 is the same as
sport
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, I still think that
sport
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 plays an important role in society because it has brought advantages to
people
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 in terms of health and social areas.

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task response
Ensure to address both sides of the argument in more depth. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasons why each perspective is important. Use transitions effectively to improve the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, but make sure to provide a clear thesis statement that clearly states your opinion. Use cohesive devices such as transition words to better connect your ideas throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Leisure activity
  • Physical fitness
  • Well-being
  • Stress management
  • Relaxation
  • Community
  • Social cohesion
  • Values
  • Skills
  • National identity
  • Pride
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