some people are convinced that mature age employees are beneficial to a company. Others think that younger employees contribute more and hence are more beneficial to a company. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
believe that
employees
who are in their mature ages are beneficial to a
company
. Others think that younger
employees
have potential, and could contribute more than older
employees
,
thus
, they can be more beneficial to a business. They can come up with different ideas for developing business and their
stress
management
skills
can affect the working environment positively. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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generation z can be beneficial to a
company
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
.
Firstly
, young
people
can create different ideas about their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Their fresh mind is
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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innovation.
For example
, in the USA lots of technology companies hire younger adults for the innovation department. It is true that young
people
can solve problems easier than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mature.
Nevertheless
, they need to work with their supervisors in difficult tasks, because sometimes these
people
lack experience in difficult tasks.
For instance
,
famous
Correct article usage
the famous
show examples
company
Meta hires young engineers for the optimization of their
softwares
Correct your spelling
software
under supervision. They believe that younger adults
successful
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are successful
show examples
to tackle
with
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apply
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unpredictable conditions.
Secondly
, the latter positive effect of young
people
is their
stress
management
skills
. They can improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
motivation in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
workplace. Their perspective
for
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on
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life is different from others.
Young
Add an article
The young
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generation is not motivated
with
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by
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high wages and they are able to work in a stressful environment. Their mental health is
more
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apply
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stronger than their older
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
. They affect indirectly
to
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apply
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reduce
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
stress
of
Change preposition
in
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their workplaces.
For instance
, some entrepreneurs consider
to hire
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hiring
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young
people
because of their successful
stress
management
skills
. From my point of view, I believe younger
employees
can contribute effectively with their
skills
. In conclusion, some
people
think about experienced
employees
are more beneficial than younger
employees
. Others believe that
,
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apply
show examples
younger
employees
contribute more and they are beneficial to a
company
. Their problem-solving and
stress
-management
skills
are remarkable.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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