Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar , which causes many health problems . Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar . Do you agree or disagree ?

Nowadays, a lot of populations face many health issues because there is a large amount of sugar in most manufactured food and drink goods;

as a consequence

Linking Words

, some people say that these products should be sold at

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

cost in order to reduce customers’ consumption. As a matter of fact, sweets can lead to many illnesses

such

Linking Words

as obesity, diabetes, and so on. In order to solve these problems, some suggest that paying more cash can reduce the demand; to illustrate

this

Linking Words

, based on most

crowd

Fix the agreement mistake

crowds

show examples

i

Change the capitalization

I

show examples

know, they would not likely to spend too much money on meals so if we raise the price of sugary goods, they tend to buy less of it which mean they will

also

Linking Words

consume less sugar;

moreover

Linking Words

, the farmers can

also

Linking Words

gain more income if the price is

rise

Add an article

the rise

a rise

show examples

However

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

others that still agree to pay more and some who have no choices;

for instance

Linking Words

, those who have to use it for their occupation,

for example

Linking Words

, chefs, owners of food, desserts, and drinks factories, and resort owners( they have to buy products to provide it for their consumers;

in addition

Linking Words

, they have no choice but to pay more and it will affect their business; not only that but some may

also

Linking Words

become bankrupt;

besides

Linking Words

from that the country’s economy may become worse which

also

Linking Words

have butterflies effect on various people.

To conclude

Linking Words

, improving the cost of sugary products becomes a popular opinion at the moment because people will have to buy

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

sweet goods;

as a result

Linking Words

, their health is likely to become better; on top of that, farmers’ income will

also

Linking Words

increase;

on the other

Linking Words

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there is

also

Linking Words

a valid argument that the disadvantages are worse than the advantages. It will affect many careers, and consumers will

also

Linking Words

have to pay more which all of these may result

as

Change preposition

in

show examples

a bad economy. Based on my point of view, there may be a better way to solve the issue

,

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and disagree with the statement.