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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to travel or work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

#countries #people #travel #work #year #school #university #studies
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In the modern eras, high school graduates in many countries popularly take a gap for a
year
Use synonyms
 before studying in universities for vacation and working. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the benefits and drawbacks of spending a period will be
elaborate
Replace the word
elaborated
show examples
 on before my conclusion is reached. On the one hand, youth who
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to spend a
while
Linking Words
 travelling and working can get an experience in exploring the world and can learn some soft skills which cannot
find
Wrong verb form
be found
show examples
 in the classroom. To illustrate, they can join work and travel programmes to be an internship employee in the United States, which is a good opportunity for students to try individual living, learn how to work with others, and
also
Linking Words
 earn an enormous income.
Moreover
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, a
year
Use synonyms
 before starting higher education enables young people to explore themselves.
Therefore
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, they can decide better which field of study they want to apply to pursue their favourite jobs, which they do not regret later.
On the other hand
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, it is apparent that students who do not continue studying immediately finish their degree slower than those who do not take a gap.
Hence
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, they start working later and sometimes get a lower salary compared to those of the same age because they have a
year
Use synonyms
 more job experience.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in some societies, they have to endure insulting comments about their late finishing degree from the surrounding people.
For example
Linking Words
, In Thailand, If students graduate later than others, they are judged as stupid and lazy
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In conclusion, despite being underestimated or late working, taking a
year
Use synonyms
 to explore the world and ourselves is more worthwhile to do because choosing the wrong faculty and unpleasant jobs results in unhappiness for the rest of your life.
Submitted by chutirat.work on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points and provide a stronger thesis statement.
task achievement
Be sure to address both the advantages and disadvantages in more detail and provide more specific examples to support your points.
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