IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The flow chart illustrates the consequences of deforestation. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The flow chart illustrates the consequences of deforestation. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#flow #consequences #deforestation #information #features #comparisons
The flow chart shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about cutting down forests.
Overall
, there stand out four
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
main
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 are caused
deforestation
Change preposition
by deforestation
show examples
, which leads to floods and less biodiversity.
Firstly
, knocking down trees in a forest can cause fewer roots are holding the
top
Correct your spelling
topsoil
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soil
, which
leat
Correct your spelling
lead
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 to erosion of
soil
Correct article usage
the soil
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.
Furthermore
, deforestation can
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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 of
fair
Correct your spelling
fire
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, both deliberate and accidental ones, leading to demolish waste of wood and
Micro-organisms
Correct your spelling
microorganisms
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 feeding on waste.
In addition
, it can
also
 result in drought
due to
 less precipitation caused by less amount of warm which plants return to
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
. All of
this problem
Fix the agreement mistake
these problems
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 can lead to
rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
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 of pioneer species and
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
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 of vegetation, eventually leading to less biodiversity.
Secondly
, heavy
logginf
Correct your spelling
logging
equepment
Correct your spelling
equipment
using
Wrong verb form
used
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 for clearing the forest can compress the
soil
, which becomes hard and baked.
Due to
this
 rain water runs off from the
soil
.
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 it can
leading
Change the verb form
lead
be leading
show examples
 to floods
Submitted by p.zhukova89 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words soil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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