IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries in the world find that their cities are overcrowded and need to expand. Is the solution to this to build in existing cities, or build new developments outside?

In the 21st century,
human
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the human
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 population is increasing
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
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 at the same time
cities
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 are developing. In my view,
construction
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the construction
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 of new
cities
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generate
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generates
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better
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a better
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 life for
people
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.
Although
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majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of existing
cities
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 in the world now facing many
problems
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. So reconstruction is more challenging. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the positive and negative outcomes of building or
refurniting
Correct your spelling
refurbishing
cities
Use synonyms
 with relevant examples.
To begin
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, there are many advantages vested
on
Change preposition
in
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 rebuilding the current
cities
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Firstly
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, it will help to solve money, time and human services.For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, building a new
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cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
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 needs more financial support,
work force
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workforce
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 and it takes a long time duration.
In addition
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, it will negatively impact
on
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apply
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existing industries and servicing sectors.
Secondly
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,
while
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 living in urban
areas
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 and manufacturers become used to live
that circumstances
Change the determiner
that circumstance
those circumstances
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.
Therefore
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, shifting them from one area to another
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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literally
impact
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impacts
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 their physical and mental co-existence.
Thirdly
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, if the government construct new
cities
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 outside, especially
rural
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in rural
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areas
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, it brings more environmental
problems
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 and destruction of the vegetation.
Finally
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, the construction of new urban
areas
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give
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gives
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 an opportunity for a better standard of life for
people
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 who live in remote or
under developed
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underdeveloped
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areas
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.
On the other hand
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, having new
cities
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 help to reduce
problems
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 like transportation and the lack of public transportation and
Correct article usage
the
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lack of public amenities.To illustrate
this
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, recently Indian government built a new city outside of the mega city Bombay.
In addition
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, a recent study shows that 55% of traffic
problems
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of
Change preposition
in
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 Bombay
solved
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are solved
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 and even economically underprivileged citizens get their public health services.
Moreover
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,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of the existing
cities
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 are overcrowded because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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 population and
people
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's excessive migration from rural
areas
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.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will generate
Correct article usage
a
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lack of housing, drainage
problems
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 and crime rates.
Therefore
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, new
cities
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 provide more space for
people
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 to live and work peacefully.
Furthermore
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, industries can
Change the verb form
be built
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built
Wrong verb form
build
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 or expand their services in crowded places especially new
cities
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. In conclusion, there is a saying
'a
Correct your spelling
a
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 coin has two
sides'
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sides
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similarly
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 building new
cities
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 and rebuilding an existing city bring both positive and negative outcomes. So the local government and authorities need to be careful
for
Change the preposition
with
about
of
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 the protection of
environment
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the environment
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 and the human life.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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