IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries in the world find that their cities are overcrowded and need to expand. Is the solution to this to build in existing cities, or build new developments outside?

#countries #world #cities #developments
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the 21st century,
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 population is increasing
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
 at the same time
cities
Use synonyms
 are developing. In my view,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of new
cities
Use synonyms
generate
Change the verb form
generates
show examples
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life for
people
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of existing
cities
Use synonyms
 in the world now facing many
problems
Use synonyms
. So reconstruction is more challenging. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain the positive and negative outcomes of building or
refurniting
Correct your spelling
refurbishing
cities
Use synonyms
 with relevant examples.
To begin
Linking Words
, there are many advantages vested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 rebuilding the current
cities
Use synonyms
Firstly
Linking Words
, it will help to solve money, time and human services.For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
, building a new
Use synonyms
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
show examples
 needs more financial support,
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 and it takes a long time duration.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will negatively impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
existing industries and servicing sectors.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 living in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 and manufacturers become used to live
that circumstances
Change the determiner
that circumstance
those circumstances
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, shifting them from one area to another
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
literally
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
 their physical and mental co-existence.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, if the government construct new
cities
Use synonyms
 outside, especially
rural
Change preposition
in rural
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
, it brings more environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 and destruction of the vegetation.
Finally
Linking Words
, the construction of new urban
areas
Use synonyms
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 an opportunity for a better standard of life for
people
Use synonyms
 who live in remote or
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having new
cities
Use synonyms
 help to reduce
problems
Use synonyms
 like transportation and the lack of public transportation and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
lack of public amenities.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, recently Indian government built a new city outside of the mega city Bombay.
In addition
Linking Words
, a recent study shows that 55% of traffic
problems
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Bombay
solved
Add a missing verb
are solved
show examples
 and even economically underprivileged citizens get their public health services.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the existing
cities
Use synonyms
 are overcrowded because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population and
people
Use synonyms
's excessive migration from rural
areas
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will generate
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of housing, drainage
problems
Use synonyms
 and crime rates.
Therefore
Linking Words
, new
cities
Use synonyms
 provide more space for
people
Use synonyms
 to live and work peacefully.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, industries can
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 or expand their services in crowded places especially new
cities
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there is a saying
'a
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 coin has two
sides'
Correct your spelling
sides
show examples
similarly
Linking Words
 building new
cities
Use synonyms
 and rebuilding an existing city bring both positive and negative outcomes. So the local government and authorities need to be careful
for
Change the preposition
with
about
of
show examples
 the protection of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and the human life.
Submitted by sooryag03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: