The Line graph illustrates the number of UK daily users of different transportation over the period of 60 years.

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The pie charts compare the cultural and leisure

activities

Use synonyms

that

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

take part in, regarding

Change preposition

apply

show examples

boys

Use synonyms

and their

Overall

Linking Words

, most youngsters spend their

freetime

Correct your spelling

free time

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apply

show examples

playing computer games, especially

boys

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While

Linking Words

reading is one of the

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

favorite

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favourite

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activities

Use synonyms

among young

girls

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, the opposite was true for

boys

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and when it comes to listening to music, there was no considerable difference between both genders. Looking at the

Use synonyms

boys

Change to a genitive case

boy's

boys'

show examples

chart, most

boys

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prefer to act outdoors in terms of basketball

with

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show examples

26% followed by soccer and skateboarding, at 17% and 11%, respectively. Playing computer games is by far the best choice for

boys

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to do in their pastime, accounting for 34% compared to 16% in young

girls

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On the other hand

Linking Words

girls

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spend more time on indoor

activities

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such

Linking Words

as dancing, reading and playing computer games. 27% of cultural and leisure

activities

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in girl teenagers go on dancing, followed by reading with 21%

while

Linking Words

the figure for

boys

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comes

last

Linking Words

with only 2%. The other striking feature is listening to music,

girls

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and

boys

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share a similar proportion of 10%.

luudang97Sun Mar 26 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

180 words

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The Line graph illustrates the number of UK daily users of different transportation over the period of 60 years.

These days, the wealthy in society often throw away perfectly good products in order to replace them with more up-to-date models. Do the environmental disadvantages of this development outweigh the economic advantages?

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. do you agree or disagree?

The best way to reduce poverty is to provide at least 6 years of free education for all children to learn to listen,read and count the number.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Why is noise pollution increasing in most cities? What could the city authorities do to reduce the level of noise pollution?