Some people think that it's important to spend a lot of money on family celebration (e.g. weddings, birthdays). But some people say that expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #money #celebration #e #g #weddings #birthdays #celebrations #waste

Organizing lavish celebrations with family members and friends, to some individuals, are beneficial to upgrade their social status and create indelible moments,

while

others hold the opposite opinion. I concur with the latter viewpoint, which acknowledges that

this

behaviour may foster inequality among the youth and materialism. On the one hand, to enhance their social standing and generate unforgettable memories with their loved ones, some individuals tend to spend an excessive amount of money on extravagant family gatherings. Regarding concerning mentioning the former, a family's socioeconomic status is often determined by how meticulously they prepare for their family events. Their social standing will be significantly strengthened if they are willing to allocate a huge budget for some familial occasions, namely weddings and birthdays.

This

is particularly essential and advantageous when family members are employed in political or business-related fields.

Furthermore

, weddings or other family celebrations are once-in-a-lifetime occasions,

thus

it is reasonable for them to devote more expenditure to guarantee that those significant events will leave a long-lasting impression on all participants' memories.

On the other hand

, extravagant family anniversaries pose several problems, including inequity among young individuals and material obsession. Concerning the first drawback,

this

approach may contribute to inequality since peer pressure may be especially severe for young adults who lack the financial means to throw exorbitant parties. They may suffer from a sense of inferiority. towards their peers and,

as a result

, have unfavourable thoughts about engaging in family reunions or spending quality time with their family members. Another worth-mentioning problem is that an unhealthy preoccupation with money can lead to an obsession with material possessions.

This

prompts people to put heavy emphasis on luxurious parties with premium food and special guests, which might make them overlook truly priceless moments with their beloved ones. In conclusion, despite the advantages of spending a considerable amount of money on family gatherings, I believe that

this

could promote the feeling of inferiority amount young people and a materialistic lifestyle.

Submitted by dangtranquoctrung01 on Mon Mar 27 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

329 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it's important to spend a lot of money on family celebration (e.g. weddings, birthdays). But some people say that expensive celebrations are a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jail, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Space exploration cost taxpayers an exorbitant amount of money each year. What are the advantages and disadvantages of spending money on space exploration?

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