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Band 5.5

Some say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

#say #television #education #entertainment
Some
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
show examples
 that watching
TV
 is helpful for schooling,
while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 suggest that it is only useful for providing enjoyment.
Although
 some
TV
programmes
 are helpful for
entertainment
 and make
people
 closer as an extra benefit, I believe some of these can help to educate
people
, especially those who are
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age. Admittedly, several
TV
programmes
such
 as comedy can provide
entertainment
 to watchers. Through
this
 activity,
people
 can enjoy their time with friends, families, and relatives
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 laughing and chatting about what they are watching. More importantly, they can be more intimate
each
Change preposition
with each
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 other undergoing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 time and sharing what else they know about,
for instance
, the name of
TV
Add an article
the TV
a TV
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 programme, that give
an endless positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
an endless positive effect
endless positive effects
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
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people
.
For instance
, the statistic of young couples held in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 showed that most couples
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
show examples
 their time
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
TV
 with
entertainment
programmes
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 much more likely to
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
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 longer. I suppose
this
 is the happiest and
rewarding
Correct quantifier usage
most rewarding
show examples
 effect
toward
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the relationship.
However
, more importantly, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
TV
Add an article
the TV
show examples
programmes
 can be beneficial for education.
TV
 is particularly helpful for teaching
people
, especially those who are
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age. Some educational
programmes
 help the development of cognitive,
multi sensory
Add a hyphen
multi-sensory
show examples
 and social skills which are fundamentally essential for their both social and academic life.
Additionally
, it supports
to shape
Change the verb form
shaping
show examples
 their personalities, too. Through particular series of
drama
Fix the agreement mistake
dramas
show examples
 whose main topics are manners and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 other
people
 can teach
people
 how important having a sense of morality and compassion with different
people
.
For instance
, one of the Japanese educational
TV
programmes
 named
together
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mother, always
consider
Change the verb form
considers
show examples
 these topics and some parents wrote comments showing gratefulness on the internet. In conclusion,
while
 watching
TV
 can be helpful for
people
 to deliver
entertainment
 which might result in making viewers more intimate, more
importantly
Add a comma
,importantly
show examples
 some educational
programmes
 on
TV
 can help
people
 to be good members of the community
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 teaching the moral and compassionate aspects.
Submitted by soumya.krishnamurthy on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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