IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

Some
emphasis
Replace the word
emphasise
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 that watching
TV
Use synonyms
 is helpful for schooling,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 suggest that it is only useful for providing enjoyment.
Although
Linking Words
 some
TV
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 are helpful for
entertainment
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 and make
people
Use synonyms
 closer as an extra benefit, I believe some of these can help to educate
people
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, especially those who are
Change preposition
at in
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in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age. Admittedly, several
TV
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programmes
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such
Linking Words
 as comedy can provide
entertainment
Use synonyms
 to watchers. Through
this
Linking Words
 activity,
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy their time with friends, families, and relatives
with
Change preposition
by
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 laughing and chatting about what they are watching. More importantly, they can be more intimate
each
Change preposition
with each
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 other undergoing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 time and sharing what else they know about,
for instance
Linking Words
, the name of
Use synonyms
TV
Add an article
the TV
a TV
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 programme, that give
an endless positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
an endless positive effect
endless positive effects
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for
Change preposition
on
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people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, the statistic of young couples held in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 showed that most couples
spent
Correct pronoun usage
who spent
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 their time
through
Change preposition
apply
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watching
TV
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 with
entertainment
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programmes
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 much more likely to
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
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 longer. I suppose
this
Linking Words
 is the happiest and
rewarding
Correct quantifier usage
most rewarding
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 effect
toward
Change preposition
on
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 the relationship.
However
Linking Words
, more importantly, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
TV
Add an article
the TV
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programmes
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial for education.
TV
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 is particularly helpful for teaching
people
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, especially those who are
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
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 early age. Some educational
programmes
Use synonyms
 help the development of cognitive,
multi sensory
Add a hyphen
multi-sensory
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 and social skills which are fundamentally essential for their both social and academic life.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it supports
to shape
Change the verb form
shaping
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 their personalities, too. Through particular series of
drama
Fix the agreement mistake
dramas
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 whose main topics are manners and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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to
Change preposition
toward
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 other
people
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 can teach
people
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 how important having a sense of morality and compassion with different
people
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the Japanese educational
TV
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programmes
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 named
together
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
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mother, always
consider
Change the verb form
considers
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 these topics and some parents wrote comments showing gratefulness on the internet. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 watching
TV
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 can be helpful for
people
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 to deliver
entertainment
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 which might result in making viewers more intimate, more
importantly
Add a comma
,importantly
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 some educational
programmes
Use synonyms
 on
TV
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 to be good members of the community
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 teaching the moral and compassionate aspects.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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