IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters
These days, many commuters take lots of
time
 on their way to the workplace or school.
Although
 there may be some positive sides to
this
 development, I strongly believe it is mostly negative. There are only a few couples of the benefits that
people
 could possibly gain from having to spend a large amount of
time
 travelling to and from the workplace or school, which are related to these
people
 who commute via public transport.
Firstly
, travelling on public transport can provide more
time
 for commuters to get things done that they have been busy to complete,
for instance
, some school kids have to spend up to one hour travel by bus every day and
this
 a great opportunity for them to get their homework or projects done.
Likewise
, some adults may use
this
time
 to catch up on some uncompleted work on their laptops or plan their schedule for the day.
Furthermore
, sitting on a bus or train
while
 reading a book can be relaxing.
However
, not all
people
 can take advantage of these benefits.
For example
, in Vietnam, only a small percentage of
people
 use public transport and
therefore
 have no chance to read a book or catch up on work.
Instead
, most of them suck in a traffic jam during rush hours sitting on a motorbike breathing in toxic fumes from other vehicles, which in the long term can lead to a number of serious health issues.
Additionally
, spending more and more
time
 commuting leaves less
time
 for other important activities.
To sum up
, I believe that it is a negative development
however
 it really depends upon how
people
 spend their
time
while
 travelling.
Submitted by alnaamiayat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • commuters
  • urban areas
  • housing availability
  • alleviating housing crises
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental health
  • biodiversity
  • recreational
  • mental health benefits
  • urban heat islands
  • green lungs
  • community interaction
  • cohesion
  • innovative urban planning
  • multi-use buildings
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!