Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is true that traditional and religious festivals have been a part of nations' heritage, but nowadays, individuals seem to not properly enjoy those important celebrations.

This

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essay totally agrees with

this

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statement, I believe that

people

Use synonyms

have forgotten the true meaning of these ceremonies. First of all, the recent breakthroughs in technology have changed

people

Use synonyms

's lives forever, society, friendships and even families are not seen as they used to, human beings now tend to care less about their community's legacy and their spiritual side and start thinking only about themselves and

this

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due to

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the way the internet, smartphones

as well as

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laptop that have impacted the mentality of individuals, they helped in one way or another selfishness to grow like never before in our society, and

as a result

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, humans seem to not enjoy their

traditions

Use synonyms

and their religions' rituals.

Secondly

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, another reason is that life has become more expensive than ever,

therefore

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people

Use synonyms

now concentrate on means to make money,

for example

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, their career or their business and spend most of their day trying to get enough income to afford their needs.

Moreover

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, globalization gave

people

Use synonyms

the opportunity to look at the way other foreigners live and they do not necessarily have the same

traditions

Use synonyms

and values which can make

people

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lose interest in their own beliefs and try to copy others not knowing the true meaning of their

traditions

Use synonyms

and festivals and how it kept society and legacy alive for that long.

To conclude

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, there are convincing arguments both for and against the statement;

however

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, I believe that

people

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forgot

Wrong verb form

have forgotten

show examples

the true meaning of their

traditions

Use synonyms

saberyoucMon Mar 27 2023

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task response

The essay lacks a clear and structured response to the prompt, and the main points are not effectively presented.

coherence cohesion

The introduction does not effectively introduce the main points, and the conclusion is weak. The essay lacks coherence and cohesion in transitioning between ideas and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Commercialization
Globalization
Cultural dilution
Traditional values
Secularization
Festivity
Heritage
Individualism vs. collectivism
Consumer culture
Intangible cultural heritage

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Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Governments should spend on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some people believe that vaping is a safer alternative to smoking and helps people quit smoking, while others think that e-cigarettes are harmful and may lead to vapers becoming smokers in the future. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Advertising encourages customers to buy in quantity not in quality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for children to learn difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?