IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones
The world has witnessed the rapid development of
technology
, affecting all aspects of daily
life
, particularly in
payment
. In my opinion, payments will be all made online one day, and there are many factors why
people
 may dislike
this
change
. One reason why cash may eventually become obsolete is
due to
 the widespread adoption of smartphones. Thanks to the application, nowadays banks, money, and phones can be linked together to complete
payment
 in just a few seconds, making transactions faster, more secure, and more convenient.
This
 switch starts at one point
then
 expands rapidly, and currently becomes the major paying method in some developed and developing countries. As the connection between
life
 and
technology
 become tighter, I believe online
payment
 will take the place of cash in the future.
While
 some
people
 are not ready to embrace
this
change
 because it can influence their
life
. The poor must be taken into consideration.
People
 with low income may find it challenging to have a convincing credit report, without which the bank will not issue a card to them. They don’t have access to smartphones as well, let alone pay in a modern way. They cannot afford the sudden
change
 which may have negative impacts on their daily
life
, ultimately making them feel lost.
Finally
, it is essential to consider that some
people
 may not be comfortable with electronic
payment
 methods, particularly older generations who are less familiar with the
technology
. They are so accustomed to
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 previous habits that they are less likely or hesitate to make a direct
change
.
For example
, my grandpa enjoys chatting with shop owners
while
 waiting for the charge.
Such
change
 will deprive their happiness. Even though they are willing to make a
change
, it is possible that they must spend much more time learning and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 used to it, making them feel reluctant and unsatisfied.
To sum up
, given the fast development of
technology
 recently, I do believe that cards or phones will take the place of traditional cash.
However
, the fact should be acknowledged that some
people
 will be unhappy with the
change
.
Submitted by xieping0415 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: