IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

#future #people #shops #cash #payments #card #phones
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The world has witnessed the rapid development of
technology
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, affecting all aspects of daily
life
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, particularly in
payment
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. In my opinion, payments will be all made online one day, and there are many factors why
people
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 may dislike
this
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change
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. One reason why cash may eventually become obsolete is
due to
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 the widespread adoption of smartphones. Thanks to the application, nowadays banks, money, and phones can be linked together to complete
payment
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 in just a few seconds, making transactions faster, more secure, and more convenient.
This
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 switch starts at one point
then
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 expands rapidly, and currently becomes the major paying method in some developed and developing countries. As the connection between
life
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 and
technology
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 become tighter, I believe online
payment
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 will take the place of cash in the future.
While
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 some
people
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 are not ready to embrace
this
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change
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 because it can influence their
life
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. The poor must be taken into consideration.
People
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 with low income may find it challenging to have a convincing credit report, without which the bank will not issue a card to them. They don’t have access to smartphones as well, let alone pay in a modern way. They cannot afford the sudden
change
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 which may have negative impacts on their daily
life
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, ultimately making them feel lost.
Finally
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, it is essential to consider that some
people
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 may not be comfortable with electronic
payment
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 methods, particularly older generations who are less familiar with the
technology
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. They are so accustomed to
their
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the
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 previous habits that they are less likely or hesitate to make a direct
change
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.
For example
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, my grandpa enjoys chatting with shop owners
while
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 waiting for the charge.
Such
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change
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 will deprive their happiness. Even though they are willing to make a
change
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, it is possible that they must spend much more time learning and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 used to it, making them feel reluctant and unsatisfied.
To sum up
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, given the fast development of
technology
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 recently, I do believe that cards or phones will take the place of traditional cash.
However
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, the fact should be acknowledged that some
people
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 will be unhappy with the
change
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.
Submitted by xieping0415 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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