In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

#world #science #technology #value #artists #musicians #painters #writers #art #life

The development of

science

and

technology

has been significant for the past few decades.

However

, it has not replaced

artists

yet and

people

still enjoy their spare time with

arts

such

as music,

paints

Wrong verb form

painting

show examples

and books. I believe that these

arts

pull

people

’s heartstrings and that

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

of things can be made by only human beings. Humans’ feelings are very complicated, and

that is

why it makes

artists

give

people

a lot of

inspirations

Fix the agreement mistake

inspiration

show examples

. First of all,

artists

can share their life experiences that

science

and

technology

can not.

For example

, many books include histories or authors’ real experiences. Even if it is created stories, that could blow readers’ minds and expand their views. Reading gives them a chance to gain more knowledge and rethink

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their lives.

In addition

this

, The lyrics of songs are the gathering of messages,

such

as sympathy and encouragement. These messages often attract listeners.

Secondly

, the

arts

can interact with

people

whereas

science

and

technology

have difficulty

Change preposition

apply

show examples

communicating with

people

For instance

, live festivals are the interaction between

audience

Correct article usage

the audience

show examples

and musicians and that leads to a feeling of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

connection. In terms of paints, how you feel the paints

depends

Change the verb form

depend

show examples

on the person and it makes

people

think that it is no problem to be different from others. In conclusion,

arts

are still a part of our life,

although

science

and

technology

have been sophisticated. In my opinion,

this

is because

artists

can expand

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

views through their pieces of work and feel a connection with them.

Submitted by nanamach87 on Tue Mar 28 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

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Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

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In today's world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The advantages brought by the spread of English as a global language will outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that the main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

computers are being used more and more in education. Some peole say that this is aposetivr trend, while others argue that it leading to negeative consequenc. Discuss both sides of this argument and given your own opinion.