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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #purchase #product
It
is believe
Change the verb form
is believed
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 that many
people
 will
purchase
 a product
according to
 their needs
while
 advertising is not
demand
Change preposition
in demand
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. I strongly believe that some individuals addicted to
purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
show examples
products
 that are they need.
However
, some
people
 buy
items
 based on advertising. In the first place, there are numberless
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons why
people
 prefer buying
items
 based on their necessities. First of all, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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depends more on their dwellers and conditions. So, when it comes to
people
 who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
buy things
according to
 their necessities, they might not be curious about advertising.
Moreover
, they may prefer
items
 without advertising or their conditions
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not correct for that.
This
 means that advertising might be extremely costly or cheap.
Therefore
, some individuals
purchase
products
 without
rely
Change the verb form
relying
show examples
 on advertisements.
On the other hand
, some
people
 prefer purchasing
products
 based on
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. It is becoming
increasingly
Add an article
an increasingly
show examples
 common habit among citizens in recent years. First and foremost, nowadays advertisements are developing. Not only adults
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
people
 who are old ages buying
items
according to
 advertising.
Besides
, they are attached to prestige and luxury things in contemporary life.
Furthermore
, at present all of the
products
,
such
 as clothes, foods, drinks, and
also
 electronic
items
 are
selling
Wrong verb form
sold
show examples
 by announcements. What is more, these might be cheaper than offline.
Therefore
, some citizens
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
 to
purchase
rely
Correct word choice
and rely
show examples
 on advertisements.
To sum up
, as you already know, it is up to their residential area and others. It is my perception that individuals should buy
items
according to
 their needs.
This
 is because advertising might impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them in different ways.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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