IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Walking is known to be beneficial for health yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reason for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people #reason
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I am of the opinion that
this
Linking Words
 photo was made in a
cinema
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. The main actions have been happening during the film. In the foreground, we can see a girl who is chatting with someone by
phone
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. She looks really engaged in the process of texting.
However
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, it may be something different from what she is doing
such
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 as checking notifications on her
phone
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.
Besides
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, on the right, there is another girl; she looks extremely excited about the actions on the screen of the
cinema
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.
Moreover
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, she doesn’t pay attention to the girl’s
phone
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 which is glowing brightly. On the left, there is a man who is definitely irritated by the girl’s behaviour with her telephone. He looks as if he frowns and stares at her gadget,
however
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, he isn’t going to stop her from making inappropriate actions in the
cinema
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 because he still tries to eat his popcorn.
On the other hand
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, they can be a couple, and the man decided to invite the woman to the
cinema
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 because he has desired to have a date with her for ages.
As a result
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, he managed to invite her,
however
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, the movie has been so boring, so the woman just decided to scroll her
phone
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 and check social media
instead
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 of watching the film.
Thus
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, the man looks as though he is completely disappointed about the date and makes a creepy face. In the background, there are people who look happy and glad about the movie.
Furthermore
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, they don’t pay attention to the scene in front of them or ignore that.
To conclude
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, it is quite complicated to identify what has happened if it is either a terrible date or just a women’s personal deal.
This
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 photo reminds me of my visit to the
cinema
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. When there were a lot of pampered infants who used their phones for fun to annoy an audience.
Submitted by alieksdandr on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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