Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centres #government #community #spirit #measures

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As a twenty-first century

teenager

Add a comma

teenager,

show examples

I often experience a need to hang out with my friends and spend my

time

socializing. I search for places to eat, shop and relax so I fully agree with the government’s choice to invest in

leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

when it comes to the question of how to spend free

time

. On one hand,

leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

connect

people

and stimulate

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good energy

among

Change preposition

show examples

the community.

This

happens when

people

go and watch a great comedy at the cinema or go

skate

Wrong verb form

skating

show examples

on ice.

This

enhances

people

’s happiness, helps them to relax and leads to having a good

time

As a result

, both sides are equally happy because

leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

make money from it

as well as

the customers are left glad.

On the other hand

, others believe that

leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

sometimes “rob”

people

with their inadequate prices.

For example

, if at a regular food

market

Add a comma

market,

show examples

you can purchase a bottle of water for less

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

one euro, shops or cafes at

leisure

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

may require you to pay three and a half euro for it.

This

is not only not logical but

also

leaves buyers unpleased and not wanting to pay a visit again which could lead to an unhappy community or a bankruptcy of a few million dollar project. My idea for a perfect place to spend your spare

time

- central parks. It has a lot of pros,

for instance

, you

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

constantly breathe fresh air, socialize in a wide space and do

get togethers

Add a hyphen

get-togethers

show examples

as picnics.

This

would be a much cheaper project for the government and it would keep the population healthier which in the end is better and more profitable in a variety of areas for both sides. The only con of the parks is that

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

needs

Correct subject-verb agreement

need

show examples

constant care, but if the finances are managed well,

then

the country will be able to hire

people

to do

this

job.

To conclude

, I believe that there are a lot of ways to spend your free

time

like going to a

leisure

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

or taking a walk

Change preposition

show examples

a park but it really depends on a person’s wishes and values.

Submitted by oimigle on Tue Mar 28 2023

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Task Achievement

For task achievement, it's crucial to address the prompt fully. In your case, ensure to provide a balanced discussion that focuses on both the extent of your agreement or disagreement and on suggesting other measures. Expand on your ideas to show a more diverse range of solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on linking your ideas more effectively. Use a range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next. You could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more explicit connections between your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

When supporting your main points, include a variety of examples drawn from different perspectives or sources. This can improve the depth of your essay and show a more rounded understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

359 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster
ammunities
leisure centre
sense of togetherness
boost the local economy
inclusive events
diverse range
instil a sense of pride
shared identity
accessibility and connectivity
public green spaces
community bonding
frequent community service projects
community-based educational programs
promotes physical health

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Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and personal life, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problem? How to overcome it?

A teacher's duty is to teach, not to be a parent. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Where does the role of the parent finish and that of the teacher begin?

In the first most working people had went only one job why but now it is more and more people are having more than one job at a same time what is the reason for this development what are the advantage and disadvantage of having more than one job?