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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. agree or disagree?

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It is thought by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
to
Change preposition
apply
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being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
 wealthy is to provide an opportunity to the person to
aid
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 and it is considered
as
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apply
show examples
a crucial thing. In my opinion, helping
people
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 is a contributing role to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rich.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, there are many things that help
people
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 to become wealthy. One obvious
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 for
assist
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assisting
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 is to
creat
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create
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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love between all
people
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. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, if all
people
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aid
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 and give
poor
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to poor
show examples
people
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 or their
neighbors
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neighbours
show examples
 that will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
in
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apply
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their emotions.
Also
Linking Words
, poor
people
Use synonyms
 can
to
Change the verb form
apply
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coverd
Correct your spelling
cover
 or buy all their
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
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 that money.
For instance
Linking Words
, Sultan Qaboos gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
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Financial
aid
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for
Change preposition
to
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 poor counties
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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as
Change preposition
in
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 north Africa and they love him and
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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our
Change preposition
of our
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 country, so they support us when we face any problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by
assist
Change the verb form
assisting
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
,people
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 all of them will be in the same
class
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at
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in
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 society and remove all the classes and
comperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
competition
 between them.
For example
Linking Words
, if
Correct article usage
the upper
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upper
Add a hyphen
upper-class
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class
Use synonyms
aid
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middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 and working
class
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 ,they will become near
of
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apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 social state.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many predominate things that help
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 to become wealthy. First of all,
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
presude
Correct your spelling
presence
. So, if
people
Use synonyms
 have got a
presude
Correct your spelling
prelude
 of
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 that will make them happy and they live as a
people
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 in the upper
class
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. Second point,
their
Add a missing verb
is their
show examples
 desire to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 or
stadying
Correct your spelling
studying
staying
 hard to serve
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
woh
Correct your spelling
who
 study hard and get Certificates and privileges,
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will play a vital role to put them one step ahead when they want to request
for
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apply
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any job. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 there are many things that help
people
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 to become wealthy,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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helping
people
Use synonyms
 to each other in
society
Add an article
a society
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Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 critical thing and it has many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
rich
Add a missing verb
being rich
show examples
.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealthy
  • financial resources
  • philanthropy
  • charitable organizations
  • donations
  • fundraising
  • support
  • initiatives
  • contribute
  • fulfillment
  • purpose
  • selfless
  • altruistic
  • prioritize
  • personal gain
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