IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2001

the chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2001
#show #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods (cars, computers, Books, Perfume, cameras) in
France
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
 in 2010. Units are measured in
the
Change the article
apply
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pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart shows that
UK
Use synonyms
 spending
are
Change the verb form
is
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 more than
Use synonyms
France
Change noun form
France's
show examples
. The most spending in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 were on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car. Whilst in the
UK
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the least
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least
Correct your spelling
last
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 spending was on perfume and in
France
Use synonyms
 was on cameras.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the most significant
differences
Change the noun form
difference
show examples
Use synonyms
expenditure
Change preposition
in expenditure
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 between the two countries was on cameras. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of cars, the
UK
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 the most on
this
Linking Words
 about 45000
pounds
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 sterling and 400000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the British
expenditure
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 was higher on books than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
France
Change noun form
France's
show examples
 (around 400000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 30000
pounds
Use synonyms
.) In the
UK
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,
expenditure
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 (just over 350000
pounds
Use synonyms
) was over double that of
France
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, which was only 150000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
expenditure
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 on remaining goods
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
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 was higher. Almost 400000
pounds
Use synonyms
France
Use synonyms
 was spending on computers with slightly higher than
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 which spent exactly 35000
pound
Change to a plural noun
pounds
show examples
. Neither of the countries spent much on perfume which accounted for 200000
pounds
Use synonyms
 of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 but under 150000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, pounds, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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