Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

In our modern life, the majority of individuals point out that almost all teens should be
demanded
Verb problem
required
show examples
to do volunteer activities in their leisure time to assist the local public as they strongly believe that
this
would be beneficial for teenagers and society as well. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
controversial topic. First and foremost, in many ,countries the employment of children is prohibited.
To begin
with, several inhabitants argue that these days , education is crucial in everyone's life because it determines the way to realize a person's full potential, the youngsters might study well in order to be the master of their future jobs and to take a better lifestyle. It is undeniable that the young generation should be free to learn hard some important subjects
such
as maths which is a really difficult topic for most of the inhabitants
for
this
reason they have to revise their lessons a lot to achieve their goals.
On the other hand
, young people should enjoy their childhood as they are younger rather than others who will have a longing
for doing
Change preposition
to do
show examples
some kind of entertainment activity to just have fun.
Thus
, I would
resort
Verb problem
say
show examples
that young people should not be encouraged to do some type of industry which is related to local government. If they have more free time, they will be able to play several
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
exercise which is an effective method to stay healthy and survive for much more time.
For example
, in Russia, almost all students and kids ought to
attract
Wrong verb form
be attracted
show examples
to study hard and they must be professional in their products that help the country's future condition
instead
of volunteering struggle without any sort of fee In conclusion, these days, as technology has been developing day by day, the youngest should be free at all times to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
some kind of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
effort. In my opinion, the young generation should be free to do some kind of activities themselves a lot that would open the door to
get
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
the aims of students.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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task response
Provide a clear opinion and support it with relevant reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of ideas and use transition words to connect the paragraphs.

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