Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages togeather. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Someone might
siad
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said
that
music
is like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
magic because it can
be use
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be used
show examples
as a tool to merge
people
around the world with
diffrence
Correct your spelling
different
cultures
and
brackground
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background
backgrounds
to
brend
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blend
in as one. In my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
totally agree so
i
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I
show examples
will elaborate
my
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on my
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point of view below.
Music
can play with
people
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people's
show examples
emotion
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emotions
show examples
so that it can make
people
from different background bren in together easily. For the reason is that
in
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apply
show examples
music
Add an article
the music
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itself have
rythm
Correct your spelling
rhythm
or lyric that can make
people
feel the same even if they are different in
ages
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age
show examples
or
cultures
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culture
show examples
.
For instance
, when
someone
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do
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does
show examples
not know each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
before and just met could be
immediatly
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immediately
feel
colser
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closer
colder
by the
music
because
music
might
related
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be related
relate
show examples
to their emotion or previous life history. So that even
we
Correct word choice
though we
show examples
come from different
cultures
and
ages
but emotions or the feel of
people
do not care about it.
Furthermore
,
music
has
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
own style or genre as well.
People
who love the same style of
music
can be easier to get closer because we can pick up something to talk about it and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come much
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
without knowing
easch
Correct your spelling
each
other before.
For example
, when we come from
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
ages
and
cultures
it can be difficult to talk with but if we love the same style of
music
it is enough to have something to talk
Change preposition
about togeather
show examples
togeather
Correct your spelling
together
. In conclusion,
Music
might be a good tool
to
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for
show examples
bringing
people
together but it
also
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
a good knowledge of
music
as well. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can say that
music
is a great thing to make
people
closer
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
different
cultures
and
ages
.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • transcend
  • mutual understanding
  • cultural barriers
  • linguistic barriers
  • cultural exchange
  • traditions
  • instruments
  • rhythms
  • appreciation
  • respect
  • diversity
  • intergenerational bonding
  • age gap
  • popular music trends
  • global events
  • festivals
  • shared experiences
  • sense of community
  • technological advances
  • digital platforms
  • streaming services
  • accessible
  • cross-cultural
  • connections
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